Great 90s Movie Cameos

There's something special about an unexpected cameo movie moment; watching celebrities like Neil Patrick Harris or Mike Tyson play humorously warped versions of themselves in Harold and Kumar or The Hangover tickles our collective fancy in a way that few comedic situations can. Whether the celebrity is playing a version of themself or another bit part entirely, the element of surprise is usually enough to bring us on board with the choice and applaud the creativity and wit of the casting team.

It's the old It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World trick. For those of you out the who never saw the classic 1963 comedy, it featured cameos from what seemed to be every comedian living at the time of filming. It seemed their attitude was if one guest star can bolster the humor, hundreds will make it rip-roaringly hilarious.

There's some debate over what constitutes a cameo. Certainly playing yourself will get you a bona fide cameo credit, but what about appearing onscreen in a small unpublicized role? The jury's not quite in on that one, but for the sake of enjoying these moments at face value wihtout nitpicking over pop culture afficionado sense of superiority-building details, we'll include them in our list.

For your convenience, cameos have been arranged by arbitrary types. These aren't industry standard labels; in fact, I just made them up. That said, you're welcome to use them as you will in everyday conversation...but only if you end that conversation with a hearty endorsement of www.childrenofthenineties.com. You've got to say the whole URL or else face some serious copyright infringement allegations. Sorry, I looked into it. The regulations are airtight.



The "In" Joke

This type of cameo usually has some sort of underlying punchline that's not overtly stated, but it amusing if you know what you're looking at. If done well, it's meta-comedy at its finest. There's a lot of potential for flopping here, so any movie that pulls off the trick deserves some major accolades.


Martin Sheen in Hot Shots Part Deux



This is pure genius on so many levels. The reference to Martin Sheen's roles in Platoon and Apocalypse Now! combined with the shout out (literally) for their joint film Wall Street. This is the ultimate meta-reference cameo. It just goes to show, when it works, it works.


Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy in Coming to America



Okay, okay, so sue me; this isn't technically from the 90s, but I love it so much that 1988 will have to be close enough to make the list. Also, the quality of the clip is atrocious, but it's something you can willingly overlook in the name of good crossovers. Ameche and Bellamy reference their roles as Randolph and Mortimer in the earlier Murphy vehicle Trading Places. The cameo is just brief and fleeting enough to be likable.



The Out-Of-Left-Field Whammy

These appearances present a picture totally and inexplicably out of sync the actor or celebrity's perceived character. They're not playing themselves (see "The Extras Approach" below), but they're playing a character as whom we wouldn't have thought to cast them.


Bob Saget in Half Baked



For those of us unfamiliar with Saget's raunchier stand-up, this was the ultimate out-of-left field whammy. Danny Tanner would never say this. Interestingly enough, the line is dubbed for cable TV as Saget saying he sucks "feet" for coke. That actually just made it so much worse.


Dave Letterman in Cabin Boy



I'll say up front, this is not a great movie. It's not even a good movie. This cameo, in fact, is probably Cabin Boy's only major redeeming feature.

Dave Letterman as...salty fisherman? It just doesn't add up. His acting is nothing to write home about, but there's something legitimately funny about this scene. Unfortunately, that's something of an anomaly for Cabin Boy. Writer and star Chris Elliot was a former writer on Letterman's show, so it's only fair for him to give his old boss his due by letting Letterman call him a "fancy lad."


Mel Gibson in Fathers' Day

It's official...no footage of this cameo exists online in any visual aid-style format. You'll just have to watch the movie for yourself.

Well,at least it was out of left field when we still knew Gibson as a heartthrob leading man and not a religious enthusiast with occasional tendencies to spew anti-Semitic remarks and refer to waitresses as "Sugar Tits." I believe Gibson is credited as something like "pierced guy" in this movie.


Elvis Costello in Spice World


Actually, make that Elvis Costello, Elton John, Meatloaf, Bob Geldof, Anthony Hopkins...what exactly are all of these respectable people doing taking bit parts in Spice World? It baffles the mind. Perhaps they were all just serious supporters of girl power.


Alanis Morissette in Dogma



This technically could also be characterized as The Big Surprise, particularly because it comes close to the end of the movie. The Out-of-Left-Field Whammy on this one is that apparently Kevin Smith thinks the celebrity who best exemplifies godliness is Alanis Morissette. It's a little bit ironic, don't you think? By her standards, I mean. Not in the actual sense of irony in its proper usage.


The Big Surprise

We don't know why exactly they're there, but we're thankful they showed up. This sometimes requires a double take to determine the star's identity, usually because either a)they are in disguise b)their appearance was unadvertised and unexpected or c) it is really, really unlikely that they would agree to this.


Billy Crystal in The Princess Bride



Some might argue this is more of a small role than a cameo, but Crystal's disguised appearance tilts my judgment more toward a Big Surprise cameo.


Charleton Heston in Wayne's World 2



Really? Charleton Heston in Wayne's World 2? Really?


Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction



This is a great movie and a great scene. Walken owns this cameo, if you want to classify it as such. It's just one of the best. Short but utterly memorable.


Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross



Remember when Alec Baldwin used to play serious roles? There's some debate as to whether his brief seven minute appearance in the film constitutes a cameo or just a bit part, but there's a general consensus about his skill and adeptness with the role. Geez, he was skinny here. To his credit, though, he's still got that hair.



The Extras Approach

If you've never seen the HBO series Extras, here's a quick run-down of the premise. A celebrity plays a twisted tongue-in-cheek version of him or herself that doesn't usually mesh with their public persona.


Billy Idol in The Wedding Singer


I can only hope that if I ever get bumped to first class, Billy Idol will introduce me over the mike. He's such a badass. Idol still pulls off his 80s look so many years later. Well, sort of. At least as much as he did the first time around.


Bob Barker in Happy Gilmore



I always knew Barker had it in him. Barker beats up Happy Gilmore when they're unfortunately paired for a celebrity golf tournament, and let me tell you, it is awesome. Bob Barker is such a sport for agreeing to this completely ridiculous cameo.


Brett Favre in There's Something About Mary

Geez, Favre has been around a long time. I used to have a huge crush on him, which was taboo for me as a Vikings fan. Luckily, now I have a legitimate license to swoon over this scene. Favre is actually pretty funny, here, too. Sometimes these athlete cameos fall flat, but he works it smoothly.


The Good Sport

Whether you're the subject of a biopic or forced to endure a questionable remake of a film you starred in years earlier, these lesser-noticed cameos prove their subjects to be good sports about the whole ordeal.



John Lovell in Apollo 13



I couldn't find a better still or video clip, but the back of that navy captain's head is the real astronaut Mr. John Lovell himself, congratulating his fictional biopic self (Tom Hanks). After all he went through, he absolutely deserves some screen time. And, you know, a whole movie detailing the failure of his mission. That would work, too.


Erin Brockovich in Erin Brockovich


The real Erin Brockovich appears in her eponymous film as waitress wearing a nametag bearing the name "Julia." Get it? Because Julia Roberts is playing her? What will these writers come up with next?


Larry Flynt in People vs. Larry Flynt


Yep, that's Flynt himself at 1:01, filling in a cameo as the judge in the movie about his own life. Like most Good Sport cameos, it's a brief one, but it's a respectable nod to the man himself.


These scenes won't usually make or break a movie, but they do have the power to entertain us on a totally unexpected level. A cameo is like a little surprise party; you go in expecting things to be business as usual, and then the unforeseen kicks in and spices it up. Whatever the style or reason behind these bit roles, you've got to appreciate the celebrity's willingness to play along. More often than not, their few minutes onscreen will be the ones we go on to remember.

Child Stars Gone....Good?

Image via www.wolfgnards.com

In the midst of the tragedy of Corey Haim's apparent overdose, there's been a lot of speculation out there about child stars "gone bad." The public is endlessly fascinated by watching our favorite fresh-faced young child actors crash and burn in a frenzy of drinking and drug use. Perhaps it's our naturally voyeuristic spirit, but we just can't seem to get enough of these stories that warrant a VH1 voiceover guy intoning humorlessly, "He had everything, and he threw it all away." It seems the price of fame is often paid in a lifetime of indebtedness to a cuteness and innocence they can never recapture as an adult.


But what about those child stars who went the straight and narrow? Certainly there are some child actors out there who went on to become doctors, lawyers, or even non-drug using celebrities? While the temptation to go the Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? route is undeniably tempting, some of the actors we knew and love as children have managed to pull it together and lead relatively normal lives. You know, if your normal life still involved being accosted by now-grown-but-still-screechy devoted fans. They've got to be out there.

Turns out, they are. Just because their once banked-upon child cuteness factor plummets as they grow older doesn't automatically mean they're doomed for a life of listless unhappiness and sporadic drug binges. Some of them get it together with a successful show biz career, while others grow into an unrecognizable version of their celebrity child selves and can walk freely among us as common citizens.

Natalie Portman


Portman first caught mainstream public attention for her roles in Anywhere but Here and the Star Wars prequels, establishing herself as a formidable child actress. She must also have been a formidable student, as she went on to study psychology at Harvard, even serving as Alan Dershowitz's research assistant. Portman has since been heavily involved in environmental and political affairs, proving that she's more than just a tiny pretty face.

Mayim Bialik



Oh, Blossom. You were poised to be such a star, and then you seemed to vanish from the show biz radar entirely. She was so likable in her eponymous role in Blossom, it's not a stretch to imagine her down-to-earthness translated into her real life. Bialik was accepted to both Harvard and Yale but chose to attend UCLA, pursuing a bachelor's in neuroscience, Hebrew, and Jewish studies and later a PhD in neuroscience. As Joey Russo would say, whoa.


Tina Majorino



In the 90s, we knew Majorino for her roles in Corinna, Corinna and Andre, though you may more recently recognize from Big Love, Veronica Mars, and Napoleon Dynamite. Despite her recent dabblings in the biz, she's stayed low key to a point she refers to as the "anti-Lohan."


Anna Paquin



After watching Tatum O'Neil's downward spiral following her childhood Oscar win, it's natural we'd be a bit wary of the future of other children Academy Award recipients. Paquin won her Best Supporting Actress award for The Piano at age 11 and went on to smoothly transition from child actor to adult actor with a steady line of work. I just knew that girl had a good head on her shoulders; I sensed it from when I saw her in Fly Away Home. I would totally trust her to regulate my migration patterns.


Fred Savage, Josh Saviano, Danica McKellar






Let's give a hand to the good people behind The Wonder Years, shall we? These people really knew how to pick 'em. How else do you explain the mostly quiet but relatively normal success of the show's main child stars? Saviano became a lawyer, McKellar a hot mathematician, and Savage went on to mostly behind-the-scenes work. We may not totally be able to forgive him for bringing us Daddy Day Care, but overall this group's alright.


Jeff B. Cohen



I know, I know, the name might not be familiar, but this guy was "Chunk" from The Goonies. He's come a long way since the Truffle Shuffle--he's now an attorney and was named one of the top 35 entertainment executives under 25 by the Hollywood Report.


Neil Patrick Harris



What else would you expect from child prodigy Doogie Howser, MD? Harris has gone on to prove that you can have it all, including an incredibly successful sitcom career, hilarious self-mocking movie cameos, and intro-ing the Oscars vis-a-vis a huge over-the-top musical number. He's also gone on to become a role model for openly gay mainstream actors. Well done, Dr. Howser.


Larisa Oleynik


We may not have expected much from her academically as Bianca in 10 Things, but it turns out Oleynik was secretly more of a Kat in real life. Oleynik attended Sarah Lawrence College, graduating in 2004. I always suspected she was more of a Dawn from The Babysitter's Club than a Bianca, in which case it all adds up pretty well.


Jonathan Taylor Thomas


Jonathan Taylor Thomas was a bona fide teen heartthrob in the 90s, so imagine our surprise to find JTT wasn't all that into the limelight, opting to enroll in college in lieu of continuing on his Tiger Beat-heavy career path. Oh JTT, how little we knew ye. So little, in fact, that many of us had no clue his real name is Jonathan Taylor Weiss. JTW just don't have the same ring to it, though, does it?


Joseph Gordon-Levitt



One of the lucky to smoothly transition from successful child actor to successful teen actor to successful adult actor. He even managed to attend Columbia somewhere in between. Plus, he finally found a haircut that suited him. Very impressive stuff.


Charlie Korsmo

You know, that kid from Hook and the nerdy revenge-seeking kid from Can't Hardly Wait? He went on to pursue a degree in physics froms MIT, graduate Yale Law, and make good as a Young Republican. Not too shabby.


These grown up child stars are living proof that the kids can turn out all right after all. It's comforting to know that not all child stars are headed on an inevitable downward trajectory. Some of them are doing just fine. More than fine, really; many have managed to sustain their level of initial success. The rest of us should only be so lucky.

Memorable 90s Oscar Moments

In honor of this weekend's forthcoming premier awards show, I thought we might pay some homage to memorable Oscar moments of 90s past. Feel free to wax poetic on your personal favorite Oscar incidences in the comments section. We've got a lot of ground to cover here, so let's jump right in:



Angelina Jolie Kisses her Brother



Yes, yes, I know this happened in 2000, but bear with me here. It was one of those moments that was so utterly appalling we just can't get it out of our minds, even 10 years down the road. Angelina's certainly come a long way from her bad goth-girl Girl, Interrupted days. In her current do-gooder philanthropist/ambassador state, she's almost unrecognizable as that chick who once made out with her brother at the year's biggest award show. Well, unless you watch the above video to remind you.



Billy Crystal Montages


Oscar Intro 1997 Billy Crystal
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Who doesn't love a good cheesy introductory Oscar montage? As a kid, I thought these things were pretty hilarious, and I'm only partially embarrassed to admit I still find it pretty funny. At the time, it was a cutesy but entertaining idea: Billy Crystal inserts himself into various pieces of the Best Picture nominee films. We even get a crazy "UMA, OPRAH, OPRAH, UMA" cameo from Dave Letterman, but more on that later. All in all, not a bad intro. I've seen worse, believe me.



Christopher Reeve's 1996 Appearance


We give out a lot of standing ovations, but here's an example of an undeniably well-deserved one; it truly was an inspirational moment. Reeve urged Hollywood to further tackle difficult social issues and use their media as a means of exploring exploring them. They managed to keep his appearance a surprise up until the final moment, and his words moved many audience members to tears. All in all, a truly heartwarming moment.



James Cameron's "I'm the King of the World!" Speech



Cameron was clearly over the moon upon receiving his Best Director Academy Award, feeling the only reaction was to whoop and holler and quote a corny line from his wildly popular movie. Some people thought it to be overly boastful, but it seems more likely that he was just really, really excited. Whatever the reason, the clip was rebroadcast innumerable times; there's a reason we still remember it today. Who knows what he'll yelp if he takes one home for Avatar. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll just show up in a seven-foot tall blue costume, but there's only so much we can hope for.



Gwenyth Paltrow's Tearful Best Actress Speech



Paltrow took home an Oscar in 1998 for her work in Shakespeare in Love. Her work in the movie was certainly commendable, but her performance at the Oscars probably takes the cake. I'm not doubting that her tears were sincere, but good Lord were there a lot of them. Paltrow sobbed throughout her entire speech. Everyone seemed a little unsure of how to react to her ceaseless river of tears, but she eventually managed to wrap it up. I imagine they needed to do some serious stage mopping during that next commercial break.



Tom Hanks Accidentally Outs His Closeted Gay Teacher


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Tom Hanks was great in Philadelphia and his acceptance speech was certainly gracious. In a well-intentioned move, he thanked his high school drama teacher Mr. Farnsworth and one of his classmates, lauding them as great gay Americans. It was a kind move, but unbeknownst to Hanks, he inadvertently outed his still-closeted teacher. The story actually inspired the movie In & Out, but I can imagine Hanks felt more than a little apologetic about the very public snafu.



Uma, Oprah, Oprah, Uma



Speaking of awkward moments, this one definitely belongs toward the top of the list. Host David Letterman pulled out this bit in 1995, leading to years of speculation of some sort of feud with reigning talk show queen Oprah. Watching the clip, it seems the joke is about their unusual names, as Dave asks, "Have you met Keanu?" Still, it was not a super comfortable moment for anyone involved, including the audience.



Cuba Gooding Jr Wins Best Supporting Actor


Cuba Gooding Jr. Oscar Acceptance Speech
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It was tough not to be happy for this guy. He seemed so genuine, so likable in his role in Jerry Maguire that we just couldn't help but root for him. Gooding managed to come across the same way in his speech, though it did get a bit over the top with him yelling over the producers desperately trying to play him out with the requisite "get-off-the-stage" music. It was obviously a high point for him, though. Any of us who ever saw Boat Trip can definitely attest to this.



Michael Jackson Shows Up with Madonna



First of all, how awesome do Mary Hart and Pat O'Brien look in this clip? So 1991. At the time, the public was abuzz about Michael Jackson and Madonna's Oscar "date". It seemed more like a well-orchestrated publicity move; the two were both incredibly famous and were working on a duet together, so it may have seemed like a logical step. Madonna ditched Michael at the Spago after-party, though, to engage in some heavy petting with Warren Beatty. Ick. I didn't even make that up...that's exactly how People magazine described it.



Jack Palance Does Push-Ups


You know what? If I can do one-armed push-ups at age 73, you'd better bet I'd pull out that age-defying party trick in the most public arena available. Jack Palance accepted his Best Supporting Actor award with a series of one-handed pushups, leading Crystal to joke later in the broadcast that Palance had just bungee jumped off the Hollywood sign. After seeing his impressive show of athleticism, I wouldn't doubt it.



Matt and Ben win for Best Original Screenplay



How can you not find these guys just a little endearing? Their friendship and teamwork, their youth and enthusiasm, it was all more than enough to make us want to root for their inevitable Hollywood success. Plus, they gave Cuba Gooding Jr. a little shout-out for "showing [them] how to give an acceptance speech." Aww.



Marisa Tomei Wins for Best Actress


(My bad--I couldn't find an embeddable clip of her accepting the Oscar. Just enjoy the clip of her in the movie, instead. She's adorable.)

Talk about an underdog story. No one ever expected Tomei to actually win the award for which she had been nominated. Her performance as the sassy, brassy Italian girlfriend in My Cousin Vinny was undoubtedly commendable, but she was up against a group of far more experienced actresses in more serious roles. Tomei's win came as such a shock that it led to a series of speculation that presenter Jack Palance had actually read the wrong name and issued the award to her by mistake. Snopes declares this to be a myth; the Academy was allowed a sense of humor now and then.



We can't foresee what great and memorable moments will unfold at this year's ceremony, but there's always something. Who knows? It may even be as shocking as Tomei's Best Actress coup or as endlessly sobstruck as Paltrow's teary acceptance. We can only dream.

Before They Were Famous: Our Favorite Stars' Early TV Bit Parts

Don't forget to entire the Children of the 90s Ultimate Nostalgia-Fest 2010 Giveaway! It's open until Wednesday, February 17. Click here to see rules and enter for your chance to win some fun Goosebumps, BSC, Magic Eye, Lisa Frank, Pete and Pete, and more!

It's hard to imagine major TV or film stars as anything less than bona fide celebrities, but all of them had to work their way to the top. In Hollywood terms, that usually means paying your dues in sitcom or soap opera appearances until you're eventually discovered and whisked off into a series of starring roles. It's got to give us hope for those of us who aren't quite at the eventual level of achievement we envision for ourselves; heck, at our age, George Clooney was still just a random handyman on Facts of Life and Quention Tarantino was a second-row Elvis impersonator on The Golden Girls. I guess that means we've all got a good twenty years or so to grow into two-time Sexiest Man of the Year or wildly successful quirky screenwriter/producer/actor/director.

That's certainly reassuring, considering many of these stars have gone on to achieve fame and fortune that outstrip even our wildest of future fantasies. It's nice to see that once upon a time, these well-known celebrities were putting in their time and trying to make it just like the rest of us. So sit, back, relax, and luxuriate in the realization that you have plenty of time to reach our ultimate goals. It's even further consolation to know that by the time we meet those goals, some of these stars may be relegated to beauty pageant hosting gigs and Dancing With the Stars appearances. Circle of life and all that.

While many, many television and movie actors started with bit roles on sitcoms or daytime soaps, I present to you a random smattering of both the memorable and the obscure:


George Clooney: Facts of Life


People are always saying Clooney has gotten more attractive with age, but watching him in this mid-80s clip I'd have to argue that he was always pretty darn good looking. 80s and 90s TV tended to be wholly unoriginal in assigning names to guest stars, often simply assigning the actor a fictitious last name to supplement their real-life first. Accordingly, Clooney played be-mulleted handyman George Burnett for two seasons on The Facts of Life. He took on a number of other bit parts, including roles on Roseanne and The Golden Girls, before striking figurative TV oil with ER.



Leonardo DiCaprio, Hilary Swank, Matthew Perry, and Brad Pitt: Growing Pains

That's Hilary Swank at her locker, in case you missed her

Apparently Growing Pains served as a functional launching pad for all sorts of young stars. DiCaprio played Luke Brower, a homeless kid the Seavers eventually adopt. Luke was a Cousin Oliver-type character, a last-ditch attempt to win over people with a cute kid and distract them from the show's decline.

Hilary Swank had a much smaller role (you can see her at her locker in the first clip), but her few lines managed to garner her some attention from Hollywood agents. She'd have to suffer through The Next Karate Kid before eventually segueing into more respectable roles like Beverly Hills, 90210. Oh, and you know, those Oscar roles of hers. Not too shabby for a girl who had just a few lines on Growing Pains.

Brad Pitt: dreamy even with a borderline mullet

Some people are so attractive it's essentially their service to society to become celebrities. In the case of Brad Pitt, I'd say he owed it to us. 80s and 90s sitcoms had a bad habit of recasting the same actors in multiple bit parts, apparently assuming their entire audience had severe short term memory loss. Along this vein, Pitt played two parts on GP: once as Carol's short-lived romantic interest and another as Ben's favorite rock star. He wasn't an especially nice guy in either role, but most of us were pretty won over by his dreamy physique. I don't care how mean he was to Carol; I still would've gone for him




Matthew Perry also appeared on the show as Carol's boyfriend Sandy, who was killed off in a drunk driving accident after just a few episodes. He actually first appeared in the short lived Growing Pains spinoff Just the 10 of Us, but apparently they'd liked him so much they shuffled him back over to the original. And then, you know, killed him off almost immediately. How thoughtful.



Ben Savage: Wonder Years



There he is at 4:20. How cute are the two of them? Boy Meets World's Ben Savage is Wonder Years' Fred Savage's younger brother, so it was of course adorable to have the two guest star in this Valentine's episode. They're pretty good at pretending to be strangers, what with the whole, "Hey you! Kid!" ruse they've got going on.



John Stamos: General Hospital



Obviously this feathered look was his hairstyle of choice for many, many years. It took all the way from General Hospital in 1983 to the early Full House years. Stamos is by far the best actor in this scene, though for a soap opera his style is a bit understated. He seems a little too relaxed in the midst of all the drama.



Christina Applegate: Family Ties



Before she was dizzy 90s blonde Kelly Bundy on Married With Children, Christina Applegate had a number of small sitcom roles. Applegate appeared on Family Ties in an episode shamelessly geared toward launching Tina Yothers' misguided music career. Applegate plays one of her band members, and I must say, in this clip she really rocks those shoulder pads. What else would you expect from the fashion maven of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead?



Michelle Tratchenberg: Pete and Pete



Even before her starring role in Harriet the Spy (complete with signature Nickelodeon bright orange-VHS tape), Michelle Tratchenberg played Nona on The Adventures of Pete and Pete. It's a far cry from her mean-girl act on Gossip Girl these days, but she is pretty adorable in an un-self conscious, desperately needs-braces type of way.




Jennifer Aniston: Ferris Bueller



Following the success of John Hughes' Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the movie was optioned as a TV show starring none of the original cast. Jennifer Aniston was virtually unknown at the time, debuting in a reprisal of Jennifer Grey's Jeannie Bueller. The show lost steam quickly and was canceled after just a few episodes, but we did get something good out of it: a mid-season replacement Blossom. And Jennifer Aniston's burgeoning career, of course.



Ricky Martin on General Hospital



He may not be a household name today, but in the late 90s we were all pretty loco over singer Ricky Martin. Somewhere in between his Menudo days and his rise to astronomical fame as a solo artist, Martin find the time to play Miguel, a singer/bartender on General Hospital. His acting wasn't anything to write home about, but like most of these 80s and 90s soap-starting stars, his hair may have been.



Jessica Alba: The Secret World of Alex Mack



Oh, this one really takes me back. Just hearing them reference "GC-161" is enough to bring me back to the day of Alex's ill-fated chemical spill. When her mom tries to saddle her with that Trolls lunchbox, it's pure 90s. There's Alba at 7:25, playing the stock mean girl character. Her acting isn't especially impressive, but she's cute enough for us to overlook it. I'm guessing this means she never went through an awkward stage. When the rest of us were gawky and awkward, Alba was well on her way to Amazonian goddesshood. Then again, I saw photos from her few months post-baby bikini photo shoot--I think she's got some sort of genetic upper hand on all of us.



Parker Posey on As The World Turns



If you don't know already, I'm a pretty devoted fan of Christopher Guest Films. I've always found Parker Posey to be hilarious, with great comic timing and spot-on deadpan. Imagine my surprise, then, to learn that Posey actually paved her path to independent movie fame with a recurring role on daytime soap As The World Turns. It's always a little jarring to realize an actor or actress you respect once appeared on a soap; it's like finding out that an esteemed author once ghostwrote Sweet Valley High novels. You might have found them entertaining, sure, but it's not exactly a claim to fame. This stint has probably moved pretty far down on Posey's resume, though. I think she's redeemed herself from the uncertain fate of wooden-acted soap roles.



Quentin Taratino: Golden Girls



This isn't the best quality video, I know, but these specific TV moments are sometimes hard to pinpoint in the vast expanses of cyberspace. In case you missed him in that one-second video-recorded-off-the-TV clip, here's a handy photo helper from Motivated Photos:


Yes, that's right...Quentin Tarantino appeared as one of the many Elvis impersonators who mistakenly populated the audience at Sophia's wedding to Max Weinstock. Is it troubling that I could rattle off all of those details off the top of my head? I've seen this episode more times than I can count, but I never once noticed Tarantino. He's not exactly in a prominent role, but it is definitely an interesting piece of trivia to know. That Motivated Photo poster cracks me up, too. I am totally going to greet him that way if I ever run into him.


Like I said, all of these big names started from pretty meager beginnings, so there may be hope for you yet. Their equivalent of entry-level positions might be a little more exciting than our own, but it's a small comfort to know they had to work their way up. Plus, based on what we've seen in the above clips, I'd say each and every one of you is probably a qualified enough actor to have a supporting role on one of those soap operas. Really.

The Way They Were: Celebrity Couples of the 90s

Time after time, Hollywood manages to fool us with its glittering golden couples. Every time a couple of favorite stars get together, we're all convinced they live a charmed shared life. They always appear so poised, so together, so happy. Plus, they're rich beyond our wildest lottery-winning fantasies. Their enviable lives extend beyond the bounds of relatability. It just seems further proof that celebrities are indeed special on a level us ordinary folks can never attain.

Just as suddenly as their perfect romances begin, though, many of our favorite celebrities quickly plummet back down to human status. On one level, it makes the rest of us feel a tad better about our own problem-addled lives. These people may be rich, beautiful, and famous, but hey, they've got issues, too. On another, though, it crushes our misguided illusion that any of us can achieve perfection. If these people can't manage it, how will the rest of us normals fare?

It's understandable that maintaining a romantic relationship under the glaring minutiae-dissecting public spotlight is a challenge. We're all watching their every moves, praying for a shred of evidence that their lives are a bit more like our own than we'd initially considered. When their relationships do fail, however, we feel somewhat let down. It's a sort of catch 22: they're damned to suffer our scorn whether they make it or not.

The 90s was a time ripe with celebrity couplings, though many of the pairs didn't cross the finish line into this decade. While they may have seemed nearly untouchable in those days, it's tough today to make sense of some of these match-ups. Whether you loved them, hated them, or just didn't get it, you have to admit that these couples enjoyed more than their share of fanfare and publicity in their heyday.


Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman


I'm not sure if you can think back this far, but try your best to remember a time when Tom Cruise wasn't just a infamous couch-jumper plagued by reputation-defaming rumors. Back in the 80s and 90s, Cruise was one of the most successful and coveted movie stars in Hollywood. Cruise and Kidman were married 10 years, which seems like a lifetime with respect to the span of most celebrity relationships. There was much speculation over the reason for their split, with reporters hinting at scandal. While Cruise has since remarried to Katie Holmes, he has yet to shake those pesky speculations on his character. The couch jumping and misguided Matt Lauer name-calling hasn't helped much, either.



Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder


If I were to engineer a quintessentially 90s couple, I doubt I could come up with anything quite as representative as these two. Examine a photo or two in their days as a happy couple and they just ooze 90s from their every pixel. It was hard not to root for them after watching their doomed romance bloom in Edward Scissorhands. After their split, they went on to further respective high-profile romances: Ryder with Matt Damon and Depp with Kate Moss, both of which relationships have since run their course. Still, it's gotta hurt that Depp altered his "Winona Forever" tattoo to read "Wino Forever". It's tough to think you could be so easily replaced by a full-bodied chardonnay.



Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez


Yeah, I said it. Puff Daddy. That was we called him back then. They had a certain charm, with him in his all-white get-ups and her in her scandalous double-stick tape supported Versace Grammy dress. If nothing else, we certainly liked them better than J Lo and Ben Affleck. As long as a Hollywood couple doesn't put us through a Gigli, they're alright in my book.



Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe


I'd really thought these kids were gonna make it. The story of their courtship seemed so cute and Hollywood storybook, we just didn't want to believe things were less than perfect with our favorite Cruel Intentions co-stars. They got married, had 2 kids, and everything seemed to be going swimmingly until they announced their decision to divorce in 2006. I'd prefer to remember them as they were, with Reese making that weird deformed devil face in the carwith Ryan in Cruel Intentions.



Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake


Talk about your golden teen couple. These two seemed so in love, we were willing to overlook the fact that they were cohabiting in the midst of their allegedly chaste relationship. It might be tough now to remember Britney as an innocent virginal pop starlet, but once upon a time we were all under the spell cast by her talented publicists. We even considered tolerating their God-awful matching denim outfits if they could just make it. Unfortunately, some things just aren't meant to be, no matter how much foreshadowing we thought we'd seen on the Mickey Mouse Club.



Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow


It's easy to forget that before there was even Brad and Jen, there was Brad and Gwen. Brad has long been a part of the Hollywood "it" couple, though he's cycled through a few female counterparts over the years. We once fell in love with Brad and Gwynnie, though we've since been convinced to fall in love with Brad and Jen and eventually the less-rhyming but more annoying hybrid classification Brangelina.



Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman


This one had all of us scratching our heads. They both seemed to bask in the attention of the public eye, Carmen for her Baywatch physique and Rodman more for his odd appearance and outlandish fashion choices than his prowess on the basketball court. The two were wed in Vegas, though the marriage was annulled less than two weeks later. The reason? Why, intoxication during the wedding vows, of course. It's probably a common tale for Vegas, but not quite so widespread an excuse in celebrity couplings.



Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee


These two got hitched after knowing each other for just a few days, characterizing the carefree (and some might argue, careless) nature of their relationship. Their infamous honeymoon sex tape went into wide circulation after it was stolen from their house, but the couple took it in stride. Considering the two weren't exactly known for their wholesome image, it all played out pretty well. They not only won over a million in the lawsuit, but they made a killing on video sales. Well played, Anderson and Lee.



Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley


There have been all sorts of speculations on Jackson and Presley's short-lived marriage, most claiming that it was a sham. Presley still vehemently denies the charge, though that footage of the two of them kissing at the VMAs still raises some eyebrows. Like most of Jackson's personal life, the details remain shrouded in secrecy, leading the public and the press to jump to all sorts of conclusions. We may never know the true nature of their relationship. I'm torn on it. I read that heartfelt note Presley wrote upon learning of Jackson's 2009 death, and she seemed to have genuine affection for him. I watch that kiss again, though, and it's a little iffy.



Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger


At this point, it's tough to look past the tarnished image of this now-bitter relationship and remember how we revered this couple upon their public debut. Back then, though, we were blissfully unaware of a looming custody battle and eventual reputation-dinging leaked voicemails from Baldwin to his daughter Ireland. The former spouses now occasionally make contact through their publicists to fling angry and bitter accusations, so I would venture things did not end so well for these two.



Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey


This one still hurts my heart just a little. I know, I know, it's not like I knew these two personally. After Newlyweds, though, I really thought they were going to be in love forever. Yes, it's naive, but he was so sweet when she made silly mistakes like confusing chicken and tuna based on the name of a popular canned-fish brand. I've always liked Jessica Simpson, so I feel for her that she never quite seemed to rebound in terms of fame and image. I'll try to think of her as she was, believing buffalo had wings and charming MTV audiences everywhere.



Their relationships may not have stood the test of time, but for a brief moment these couples represented to us the ideal partnerships. We may just have to settle for remembering them as they were, before bitter divorces or circumstances drove them apart. As they say, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. If you can't, well, then it seems you're at least in pretty good Hollywood company.