Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Guest Post: Marc McGwire/Sammy Sosa Home Run Race

Welcome to a new installment of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We have several pieces in the works and we are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

...And we're back with another spectacular guest post drawn from our fabulous pool of blogger applicants. I've gotten so many emails and comments about how the blog tends to be one-sided--that is, female sided. Thankfully, we've got guest blogger Russ to infuse some much-needed testosterone into your weekly dose of 90s. So, thanks, Russ. I have no aptitude for 90s sports trivia, so I completely appreciate your knowledge and expertise on an area that so eludes me.

You can find Russ in his regular blogging gig reviewing the goodies at Trader Joe's as a contributor to the
What's Good at Trader Joe's? blog. It's also worth mentioning that today is his birthday, so leave him the requisite good wishes in the comments section. A little about Russ, from the birthday boy himself:

It's tough to not like most Trader Joe's chow. It's almost as tough to not poke some light fun at my lovely wife, Sandy. So the blog I co-author, What's Good at Trader Joe's?, gives an honest review of TJ fare while I make fun of her and occasionally get myself in trouble while detailing little bits of our life in Pittsburgh. The other guy who writes reviews, Nathan, is pretty entertaining, too. You can like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter if you like that kinda stuff.

Go check out Russ's blog for more tasty Trader Joe tidbits, and of course, enjoy his distinctly male musings on late 90s home run madness below:


1998 Marc McGwire/Sammy Sosa Home Run Race

The summer of 1998 was simply a magical time to be not only a baseball fan, but any kid who ever dreamed of making the big leagues. With Little League and the time-honored tradition of hot dogs, popcorn, and soda while attending a major or minor league game, baseball has long been a sport that’s held an undeniable special place in the hearts of our youth. And there’s few more things about baseball that capture more imagination and dreams than the home run, the long ball, the deep fly, the dinger. The homer. Practically no one has grown up without dreaming of swatting one. That spectacle of power and precision is undeniably entrenched in our American psyche, especially as kids, and it’s tough to not admire any athlete who can swat one so routinely and seemingly effortlessly.


No, the homer. Not The Homer.


1998 gave us not one but two men, of different colors, backgrounds and teams, on a collision course of history, destiny, and our imagination. Mark McGwire of the St. Louis Cardinals and Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs spent all summer slugging ball after ball over the walls and notching their names in the history books. By August, despite the constant glare of media attention, it became apparent that it wasn’t a question any longer that the single season record of 61 home runs, set by New York Yankee Roger Maris in 1961, would be shattered. It simply it was a question of by whom, and when.

It was that question that enraptured baseballs fans the nation over all summer. I remember so clearly, actually. All the SportsCenter highlights, the magazine articles, the excitement of whenever one of those teams was coming to town (back then, most Phillies games weren’t worth watching without someone or something exciting coming to town). I remember having a TV in my room (a luxury for my 15-16 year old self) and waking up early every morning to catch highlights from the night before to just see if either managed to smack one out of the yard the night before.


You know, back when ESPN was watchable...wtf is that on your lip, Olbermann?


September, the home stretch of the season, finally came. Both McGwire and Sosa were close to the record, and as fate and broadcasters would have it, Sosa’s Cubs came to Busch Stadium for a three game set starting September 6 against McGwire’s Cardinals. Entering that series, McGwire had 60 and Sosa had 58. All summer, with homer after homer being hit by both, nothing seemed impossible. McGwre and Sosa seemed to swap hot homer streaks all summer so there there was the legitimate question lingering of which one would hit the magical No. 62 first despite McGwire’s lead. Fans either identified with McGwire’s raging biceps, his fair complexion and red hair, and his businessman-like handling of himself, or Sosa’s Dominican upbringing, goofy smile, and way he charged into the field every inning. Both guys were easy to cheer for, easy to love, easy to root for. It wasn’t a question if you liked them, it was a question of who you liked more.


Steroids? What steroids? You mean Flintstone vitamins, right, Sammy?


Ultimately, only one of them could be the first to 62. On September 8, 1998, with two outs and no one on in the bottom in the fourth inning, in the very first pitch off the at-bat against the immortal Steve Trachsel at 8:18 CDT, the time came with a long swoop of McGwire’s bat. Ironically, at 314 feet and just barely over the left field wall, it was easily McGwire’s shortest home run of the season, but by far it was the one that resonated most deeply and struck a chord most soundly and changed the record books most irrevocably. It didn’t need to be one of McGwire usual tape measure jobs to fill us with awe and wonder. It was No. 62, and that was enough.

I

It also filled me with thankfulness that I don’t have epilepsy.


What transpired next was one of the most awkward, impromptu celebrations in sports history. First, McGwire nearly forgot to step on first base (which would have negated his home run) and had to be pointed back by the first base coach. Then, all sorts of shoulder slaps and high fives from Cubs players as McGwire rounded the bases (usually a rather large baseball taboo) before, as he stepped on home plate, McGwire lifted his chubby young son high in the air to celebrate. Sosa, in right field, and bested, ran in to offer his congrats and atta-boys before McGwire took a microphone to address the crowd. In all, a night unlike any other in baseball history, and it certainly made my vocab homework seem pretty anti-climatic.


Mark and Sammy’s man hug was both singular and uncouth.


It’s tough to ultimately place this in the proper historical context. McGwire ended the year with 70 homers, Sosa with 66. Some credit the home run derby between the two between helping “save” baseball after the 1994 strike that wiped out the World Series for the only time in its history; others don’t. The Cardinals didn’t even make the playoffs, while the Cubs did, only to be swept out in the first round by the Atlanta Braves. Three short years later, Barry Bonds of the San Fransisco Giants smacked 73 homers to place his name on top the single season list. And in the years after that, there have been whispers of steroid use by McGwire, Sosa and Bonds that only McGwire has copped to. For some, that cheapens the memories of the summer of ‘98 and the back-and forth struggle of these two men against each other and against history. However 1998 is ultimately remembered, there’s no denying the magnetic appeal, the magical whispers, the epic long flies, and the shattering of baseball history that transpired.


And the biceps. Lots and lots of biceps.


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Guest blog: Umbro Shorts

Welcome back to our exciting series of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We have several pieces in the works and we are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email to childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

I was so excited when one of my very favorite bloggers contacted me wanting to write a guest post for Children of the 90s. For those of you who don't know Sha
nnon, she is an extremely dedicated fellow 90s enthusiast whose primary focus is a laserlike focus on the Sweet Valley series in her Sweet Valley High blog.

Long-time readers may also recognize Shannon from her contr
ibution to last year's Glamour Shot Challenge. In case you missed it, here's one of her awesome airbrushed photos from her mall session circa mid-90s:

A little about Shannon, from the SVH guru herself:

When I’m not sitting around feeling regretful about my childhood fashion choices and my forays into Glamour Shots modeling, I spend entirely too much of my free time reading and blogging about Sweet Valley books. You can follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr.

Be sure to check out Shannon's blog and to follow her for tons of 90s goodness. Shannon chose to wrote about a subject near and dear to many of our nostalgic hearts: Umbro shorts. Oh, the shininess.


Umbros

Long ago and far away (the 1920s in England), Harold and Wallace Humphreys decided they were sick and tired of their football (and by that I mean soccer) teams looking so shabby on the field. They wanted to dress the sporting world in shiny nylon, so they started Humphreys Brothers Clothing, a name that later got shortened to Umbro. Many years passed during which Umbro outfitted England’s soccer teams, but the rest of the world didn’t care much about it. Then Americans started to play soccer, and we were delighted to learn there was already a clothing line dedicated to our favorite new pastime. In 1992, Umbro was acquired by a South Carolina company called Stone Manufacturing, and we quickly Americanized everything about it.

Umbros were super boring when we got hold of them, but we had a fierce love of neon back in the 90s – probably the last death throes of the 80s getting out of our system. So it was no surprise that those unassuming soccer shorts were soon being produced in all manner of fantastic colors. Even the logo got a splashy new look. Suddenly, Umbros were the Next Big Thing and every school age kid had to have a pair. Finally, I had something to wear with my oversized neon t-shirts!

I don’t know why my friend is holding me like a baby, but check out our Umbros!

Over the next few years, one couldn’t swing a dead cat in a school hallway without hitting at least five kids wearing Umbros. The more athletic kids – the ones who actually played soccer and had probably been wearing Umbro-like shorts for years – generally stuck to the checkerboard/solid color style. The rest of us felt no such compunction and we wore all the new and exciting designs available to us. As long as our shorts had that double diamond logo on them somewhere, we could be confident in our coolness. As has been pointed out before on this blog, there has never been a more brand-name conscious decade than the 90s. Of course, as with any other fashion trend, there were generic knockoffs to be had. These impostor Umbros were easier on our parents’ wallets, but we were pretty sure nobody would like us if we wore them.

A popular design for the serious athlete.

There were a couple of problems Umbro-wearers faced. One was that if it rained, your super awesome hot pink Umbros had a tendency to become transparent and give everyone a good look at your Power Rangers underwear. A bigger problem was that if you did anything athletic, or even if you sat down wrong, you ran the risk of showing off your undies in a more direct way. Umbros, being rather loose and made of a lightweight material, tended to ride up and give the world a pretty good view of things best left unseen. It was for this reason that some of us, myself included, took to wearing biker shorts under our Umbros.

This fellow could use some biker shorts.

These problems aside, the Umbro brand enjoyed a good few years of popularity here in the States. However, we have awfully short attention spans, and Umbro shorts soon gave way to No Fear and flannel shirts. Umbro didn’t care, though. They just went back to doing what they’d always done: creating sportswear for soccer teams. Umbro became part of the Nike family in 2008, and they’re more financially stable than ever. You can still find 90s style Umbros if you’re feeling nostalgic, and you might even be able to make some money if you happen to have any still taking up space in your closet. For instance, the gentleman below sold his pair on Etsy last June.

Don’t you want to be that cool again?



Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Guest Post: 90s TV BFFs

Welcome to yet another installment in this series of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We have several pieces in the works and we are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email to childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

Guest blogger Lauren of The Unprofessional Critic has put together a great list of 90s TV BFFs for your reading enjoyment. You can check out her blog at http://unprofessionalcritic.blogspot.com, on Facebook at The Unprofessional Critic, and on Twitter at @unprocritic.


90s TV BFFs




Ah, BFF's. They may not get along 100% of the time, but they're bonded for life (or at least until cancellation). And in the 1990's, best friends were dominating the airwaves. Behold, five of my favorite dynamic duos:

1. Wayne and Garth ("Wayne's World," Saturday Night Live)




As a kid I totally wanted Wayne and Garth's lifestyle: how cool would it be to co-host a TV show with your best friend? Needless to say, I didn't understand until much later that they lived in a suburb. With their parents. Still, whether they were shouting out their theme song, freaking out over Aerosmith, or spouting impromptu haikus, these two always had fun together. Excellent!

2. Felicity and Sally (Felicity)




Felicity premiered my freshman year of college and my roommates and I were obsessed. We were also college freshmen in a big city! And we also wore dorky sweaters! True, Felicity and her chief confidante Sally weren't traditional BFF's - their audio letters to each other meant Sally (voiced by 90's icon Janeane Garofolo) was only heard, never seen. Plus, as Felicity's former French tutor, Sally was considerably older. But Felicity was guarded that first year of university, just coming into her own and learning to trust classmates and friends in a completely new environment. It was Sally who heard her innermost thoughts, her struggles with relationships, classes and career paths. And once in a while, Sally would offer some sage advice that brought tears to my naive 18-year-old eyes (shut up).

3. DJ and Kimmy (Full House)




My sister and I, die-hard Full House fans even when it descended into the madness of poop jokes and way too many twins, each had our own Tanner family counterpart. As the "neglected middle child" (her words), she identified with Stephanie. As the bossy (also her words) eldest of three, I was Team DJ all the way. And wherever Deej was, her buddy/neighbor Kimmy Gibbler was never far behind. Kimmy started out as a normal (if slightly annoying) little girl and ended the series as a brightly-clothed borderline superfreak with a boyfriend who could only say one word. (My sister claims my high school boyfriend looked exactly like Dwayne. Whatever.) But how can you not love a best friend who buys you a rad lavender sequined baseball cap? If I were Kimmy, however, I would have been thrilled with that impromptu hash-brown birthday cake. Pass the ketchup!

4. Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-head)




As a 14-year-old misanthrope without a driver's license, in a decade where ironic snark was the name of the game, my late nights were spent in front of our ancient basement TV, hand poised over the Off button in case my mom caught me watching my two favorite shows: The State and Beavis and Butt-head. (Will Smith said it best: parents just don't understand.) The latter spent their evenings in front of a TV, making fun of stupid music videos. Sure, they smacked each other around and claimed the Beatles ruined music, but I understood them. We were in the same awkward, bored boat. (And because Mike Judge is awesome, these guys are about to get a revival. Long live the 90's!)

5. Clarissa and Sam (Clarissa Explains It All)




Come on: who DIDN'T want a Sam? Unlike the mouth-breathing philistines who populated my sixth-grade classroom, Sam was one righteous dude. He wore baggy clothes. He gamely went along with whatever offbeat scheme or fantasy Clarissa was digging into that week. For God's sake, he had a ladder and his very own guitar twang! Plus, he and Clarissa survived one very awkward date and snapped right back into the best friendship that was their destiny. I fully blame Sam for my string of cool guy pals with single-syllable names and awesome T-shirts, which began when I was twelve and continues to this day. (When are you gonna climb into my second-story apartment window, ROB?)

Like what you read? Check out Lauren on Facebook and Twitter!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Guest Post: Tear-Away Pants


Welcome to another installment in this series of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We have several pieces in the works and we are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email to childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

Let's all welcome guest blogger Laura of The Butterfly Collector blog. A little about Laura, in her own words:

I’m Laura and I like the smell of bread. Due to possible over-exposure to all things pop-culture throughout my years, I tend to have a dry sense of humour that has the synapses of my mind tying various thoughts together in strange ways. I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada and love my city. My blog is mostly about my adventures in life as I try to experience as much as I can. I am addicted to twitter (@lowqis) so if you want to see what I am up to, catch me there!

Be sure to check out Laura's blog and follow her on twitter to see more of her amusing musings! Here, she writes about some of the least functional but most poplar athletic wear trends of the 90s: tear-away pants. Take it away, Laura:


Tear-Away Pants

This weekend I ran the Ronald McDonald House “Rock the House Run.” My first 5k since the 90s (when I joined the high school running team to meet a boy I had an unrequited crush on). But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about Ronald McDonald wearing some wicked “tear-aways” in his traditional colours.


Ronald McDonald and me after the 5k


Remember these awesome pants?


Image from realcavsfans.com

Not only could you rock the Adidas trend, but also do it in such a way that at any moment a wardrobe malfunction could happen that as a teenager could lead to years of lying on a couch, dealing with the esteem issues that such embarrassment might have caused. OR, it could prepare our young selves for the biggest fitness craze to hit the new millennium – strippercize!

When I saw Ronald rocking his sweet tear-aways, I was brought back to my youth --when all I wanted was to own anything Adidas, the ultimate way to be one with my peers. Tear-aways were pretty high on my wish list. I liked the idea of only tearing them away up to my knee (or a little bit higher depending on how scandalous I felt – anything to garner the attention of my crush of the week!). I liked the idea that if it were to get too hot, I could rip them off and continue about my business. I also liked the idea (even if its not really factual) of fashion meeting function.

Brand names were not a huge priority in my house and shopping at Zellers (think Target or Wal-Mart) for knock-offs to suffice my need for the latest trends took place a lot (hey! Don’t judge. I was making $5 an hour on a good day babysitting). So off I went to find an appropriate pair of these fabulous pants. Somehow, knock-off designers missed the memo about the ability for these pants to fully be removed by tearing them away (hence the ever clever name of “tear-aways”). On the knock-offs, the entire side seams of the track pants would be snap buttons but the waist would still be intact, leaving only the fabric from the legs to flutter in the wind. This was perfect for the scandalous fashionista in me, but not-so-perfect for the functional part of this design.

How I evolved with this trend through out the 90s and beyond

  • When I was 13, I had a pair of knock-off tear-aways. I was just your regular Sporty Spice in the making.
  • When I was 15, I owned jeans that were slit up to the knee, exposing my “flirtatious” calves.
  • When I was 18, I owned pants that laced up the outside seams from my hips to my thighs (think Christina Aguilera in the “Come on Over” music video) that I loved to wear to the night clubs. Scandalous!

And like Christina, I would up the sex appeal of this leg-baring trend with the ubiquitous belly-baring tops that fashion dictated we wear in the 90s.

Thank you Adidas, I salute you for creating a pant that formed my fashion sense during my impressionable years.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Guest Blog: Top 5 sports films of the ‘90s; or, Those who can’t do, watch movies


Welcome to this first exciting round of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email to childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

Now, please welcome our first guest blogger, Belle of Belle's Bookshelf! A little about Belle, in her own words:


I'm a 25-year-old writer, book addict, Disney nerd, 80s/90s aficionado and general pop culture junkie from Sydney, Australia. I blog about just one of my many obsessions (books) at Belle's Bookshelf (inspired by the Disney princess, of course), where I share reviews, book-to-movie comparisons, cool buys and other bookish fun. But I'm so excited to be writing about another obsession of mine - 90s movies - here at Children of the 90s!

You can find Belle at her Belle's Bookshelf blog here, or on facebook, twitter, or tumblr. Go check out her blog, stop by and say hi, and follow her on all of her so
cial media outlets for the full Belle experience. Without further ado, here are Belle's favorite 90s sports movies:


Top 5 sports films of the ‘90s; or, Those who can’t do, watch movies

1. The Mighty Ducks (1992)


Emilio Estevez distances himself from his Brat Pack beginnings by playing a drunken a-hole of a lawyer who has to do community service (and confront demons from his past) by coaching a PeeWee ice hockey team that’s comprised of a ragtag bunch of kids, including the loudmouth, the overeater, the geek, the girl and the natural leader. Between this movie and the two (inferior, but still fantastic) sequels, I spent many a weekend with the Ducks growing up (and, er, maybe one or two lately).

Memorable moments: The Flying V; Charlie scoring the winning goal; Charlie introducing Joshua Jackson to the world (and my young heart); any scene with Hans.


2. The Sandlot (1993)


Set in 1962, The Sandlot tells the story of Smalls, the new kid in town who connects with the local (ragtag, of course) group of kids – and later, his stepfather – through baseball. Everything is going great until the group loses a ball signed by Babe Ruth in the yard of “The Beast”. The myriad madcap ways they try to get it back, and their other misadventures along the way, makes for compelling viewing, even today – yep, it’s actually stood the test of time!

Memorable moments: The rollercoaster vomit scene; the insult exchange; the pool scene; Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (*sigh*).


3. Little Giants (1994)


A, er, ragtag group of kids (I’m sensing a theme here) don’t make the local PeeWee football team so decide to form their own. Their star players are a girl named Icebox and a kid named Junior who throws toilet paper down grocery store aisles in his spare time. Sadly, this movie doesn’t fare so well on adult viewing, which makes me realise how awesome my mum’s blocking out skills are, because she never once complained during the 247 times I watched this. I’d like to say it was the cuteness of ultimate ‘90s heartthrob Devon Sawa that drew me in (and sure, he was about 65 per cent of it) but I actually thought this was hilarious.

Memorable moments: “Intimidation”; the Annexation of Puerto Rico; the argument that you can have kids without kissing but can’t get a job; Rick Moranis and Ed O’Neill as the most unlikely brothers in movie history.


4. Angels in the Outfield (1994)


In possibly the cheesiest sports movie of the ‘90s (and that’s saying something), baby Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a foster kid whose dad promises him they’ll be a family again when the California Angels baseball team wins. So he prays to God for the team to win, and, naturally, his prayers are answered and a flock of angels led by Doc Al (Christopher Lloyd) descend upon the field to help pro players Matthew McConaughey, Tony Danza and Adrien Brody. I have to admit I haven’t revisited this as an adult; I’m kinda scared all the angelicness will make me vom just a little bit. But hey, it was great at the time.

Memorable moments: The team manager, played by Danny Glover, throwing the locker room tantrum to end all locker room tantrums; Al manifesting from a cup of Coke; the whole crowd flapping their arms like seagulls, I mean angels; did I mention baby Joseph Gordon-Levitt?!


5. Space Jam (1996)


I’ve saved the best for last. Because this one stars an actual sporting legend, which automatically makes it the greatest sports movie of all time, amirite? Yep, in a hilarious mix of reality and cartoonary, the Looney Tunes kidnap Michael Jordan so they can beat the alien Monstar team (word play FTW), who in turn want to kidnap them and force them to entertain tourists at an extraterrestrial theme park called Moron Mountain. What kid didn’t believe they could fly after this movie? I know I did. Thanks, R. Kelly.

Memorable moments: Um, the whole movie? Seriously, it’s amazeballs.


For more from Belle, don't forget to check out her regular blog, Belle's Bookshelf! And of course, if you want to be the next guest blogger to see your stuff in print (well, online) here at Children of the 90s, apply via email at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

Friday, August 5, 2011

The 90s are All That Recap Series with Andy--Part 3

Children of the 90s is still taking applications for potential guest bloggers and collaborators! Contact us at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com to apply!
Welcome to another exciting installment of musings on 90s Nickelodeon, brought to you by me and my comedic partner in crime, Andy Shaw. We've had a criminally fun time putting these together and strolling down memory lane to recall just how much TV used to rot our brains as children. Hopefully you'll enjoy these memory-stirrers as much as we enjoy goofing around in the blogosphere writing these posts.

We're doing things a little differently this time around. You can scroll down to see our conversation about Clarissa Explains it All and Double Dare, and visit Andy's blog to read our memories and plea to the Nickelodeon people to add Hey Dude to their rotating TeenNick 90s is All That lineup. Be sure to check out both posts and of course, let us know via email, twitter (@childrenof90s and @wildarschase
) or in the comments section what other shows you'd like to see in the series.

And of course, don't forget to check out parts 1 and 2, here and here!


Clarissa Explains it All




Children of the 90s: Never have I ever had a style and fashion icon quite like Clarissa Darling. Even watching the reruns on TeenNick, I can’t help wondering where she got her oversized Keith Haring t-shirt or checkerboard bike shorts. As a child, I used to dream of the day when my mom would let me wear a crop top, mini skirt, and pink tights like Clarissa does in the intro. Unfortunately, that day never came. Actually, I think I’m still waiting. Mom, what do you think of the crop top? Still no?

Clarissa was just pure cool. She was quirky but likable, and her granola family, nerdy brother, and floppy-haired window-climbing neighbor made for great situation comedy. She was smart and funny and totally unique. I watch the show now and still find myself wishing I could assemble ironic and interesting decor items like Clarissa. Hubcaps? Giant Swatch watch? Russian matryoshka dolls? Check, check, and check.h

WildARSChase: I wonder why she never really hooked up with Sam. He made it cool to use a ladder to get into a room.

My favorite aspect of the show was the computer games she’d have available. Remember, this was before people really had any such thing, so every game looked amazing. Probably how people marveled at that newfangled Facebooks all the kids are doing these days.

She also had that annoying younger brother, Ferguson, who was in love with Dan Quayle and was destined to grow up rich, connected and divorced by 42.

Fun fact: James Van Der Beek was a guest star.

Children of the 90s: Oh, I was a big Sam fan. He had that great 90s hair, where they shaved it underneath and let it go floppy on top. Swoon. I did like her sometimes-boyfriend, Clifford Spleenhurfer. He was a bully, but also a softie and totally whipped for Clarissa by the end of their relationship.

Ferguson loved Dan Quayle? I don’t remember that specifically, but it seems to fit right in with his general ambitious nerdiness. I stumbled upon a picture of what Ferguson looks like today and I couldn’t believe it. I just always think of him as the nerdy kid brother, and that picture is definitely a bona fide grown up (read:bald). Other fun fact: he’s now a theater director in Portland.

WildARSChase: And he also testified to Congress about the benefits of passing out free condoms. Neither here nor there. I’d just like to say that the world would all be better if everyone would break the fourth wall.


Double Dare




Children of the 90s: How awesome would it be if we could opt to defer difficult situations in our real lives by selecting a physical challenge? Just picture it: you’re at big meeting at work, all eyes in the boardroom on you, the boss puts you on the spot to defend your numbers, and you...choose instead to catapult a pie into your coworker’s pants. It just seems like a generally awesome alternative to dealing with the pressure of not knowing the correct answer.

You can’t talk about Double Dare without bringing up the ultimate irony of the show: host Marc Summers suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Now, I’m no psychology expert, but I imagine most treatments of the disorder--even the most head-on, encounter-therapy style ones--do not recommend auditioning to be the host of a show with the words “Super Sloppy” in the title. It just seems like common sense.

WildARSChase: I misread your last sentence as “Sloppy Seconds,” and thought, “That’s not good for anyone, let alone someone with OCD.”

Double Dare taught us all that when in doubt, you can get anywhere in life by accepting a challenge and filling a glass of milk glued to a helmet. To this day, when I hear, “On your mark, get set, GO” I start ferociously eating pies.

I always wondered if the dads on the show would get mad at their freeloading kids forcing them to go for the challenge rather than the better bet of answering a question and winning money to pay for the godforsaken trip to Orlando when all he wants to do is play some golf and drink some beer but no of course not he had to go on a game show and make a fool of himself in front of everyone and now he’s losing money to some bratty kids and ...

Children of the 90s: I hope that someday when I have a family of my own, we too can resolve problems by filling glasses of milk and mounting them on helmets. Heck, I don’t even care if we have a problem or not. I’m just going to make those helmets. They just seem like an awesome accessory to have on hand, assuming you like to drink over a tarp.

I too was pretty impressed by the parents on this show, they really gave it their all. I’m not sure I can imagine my family getting quite so behind a mission that involves sliding headfirst into the Gak geiser. On the plus side, though, I’m sure it made for some pretty awesome souvenir videos to drag out during a lull in the next family reunion: “Oh, and here’s where mom dove into the mashed potato vat to get the last orange flag! Rewind that so we can watch it in slow-mo, will you, Johnny?”

WildARSChase: I wish they would’ve shown some really dysfunctional families (more reality TV style) who would berate each other and screw each other over. That would’ve added a whole new dimension.

That's all we've got for you today, folks! Don't forget to stop by Andy's blog to see our Hey Dude post, too!


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