Memorable 90s Game Commercials: Jingles That Will Occupy Valuable Brainspace for Eternity

Don't forget to entire the Children of the 90s Ultimate Nostalgia-Fest 2010 Giveaway! It's open until Wednesday, February 17. Click here to see rules and enter for your chance to win some fun Goosebumps, BSC, Magic Eye, Lisa Frank, Pete and Pete, and more!

A catchy advertising jingle can be a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it's a surefire way to ensure that your product is a memorable one. If you've got consumers humming your commercial tune as they pass your item in the store, you know you've effectively set up camp somewhere deep within their hippocampus. Their limbic systems are undoubtedly clogged with your over-exaggerated guitar riffs and exclamation point-punctuated lyrics. On the inverse, your key demographic will probably grow to find your TV spot so irritating that they've developed fantasies of setting your company's ad recording studio ablaze in a fury of arsonist proportions. To sum all that up, you've got a good chance of coming up with something viewers will remember, but a far slimmer chance to coming up with something they'll like.

Sometimes when I'm trying to balance my checkbook or divide 1399034 by 3324235 in my head, I shake my fist heavenward, cursing the ad exec who jammed up my valuable brain real estate with his hook-laden commercial jingles. I'm convinced that if I'd never seen that Crossfire commercial, I'd be able to fill up an abandoned lecture hall chalkboard Good Will Hunting style, no problem. You see, the problem isn't in my own finite mental capacity. It's in the commercial jingle squatters who've built up makeshift shantytowns all over my brain's memory centers. We all could have been great thinkers of our generation had we never heard a Hungry Hungry Hippos conga.

While there are multiple offenders in the case of our brains v. trivial television knowledge, the Most Wanted would probably be children's commercials. In this case, TV spots for children's games. Take a quick stroll with me down memory lane and see if you can't recall these catchy jingles. You might no longer be able to memorize the national foods of northern European countries, but dammit you can break into jingle with minimal provocation. That may just have to be the best we can hope for at this advanced stage of memory blockage.


Twister: The Hot Spot!



I know I say this a lot, but this commercial is just so 90s. The extreme music, the quick shot-switching camera tricks, that corny wavy crayoned-on graphic; all signs point to 90s. It's like we couldn't come up with a special effect or camera trick without having to immediately incorporate it into every film-related endeavor. The lyrics are pretty convincing, though: "There's excitement goin' round/there's a party goin' down/Twister! The hot spot!" Get it? A party going down? Oh, 90s jingle composers. Is there no end to your double meaning witticisms?



Perfection: Pop! Goes Perfection


Just watching this commercial is enough to get my heart pumping fast. It takes me right back to the frantic assembly of the board before it scared the bejeezus out of me with it's unprovoked popping. Luckily, I never came down with that condition the guy in the commercial has. I've yet to see any geometric pieces expand and retract from within my splayed chest cavity. When we get to that point, I think I'll have more to worry about than trying to deprogram that jingle from my brain.



Don't Wake Daddy: Dooooon't Waaaake Daddy!



Now here's a great game: try to sneak into the kitchen to steal food without tipping off the man of the house. No wonder our nation has such a high obesity rate when our board games are like how-to manuals on sneaking chips and cookies. The jingle gives us a stage-whispered "Is he gonna wake up?" on repeat, but it seems sort of like an empty threat. Daddy still never gets out of bed or takes off his floppy nightcap. He never chases me 'round the board for my cookies. The game is inherently flawed.



Mr Bucket: The Balls Pop Out of my Mouth


This commercial took a lot of mocking for obvious reasons. I mean, really. They couldn't think of any alternate phrase for their namesake bucket to sing than "I'm Mr Bucket! The balls pop out of my mouth!" They're not even trying.



Hungry Hungry Hippos: We're Hungry, Hungry Hippos!


Speaking of games that may have played a part in our nation's eating patterns. The entire point of the game is to gobble up criminal quantities of grub. It's not exactly a health-conscious message, but then again maybe marbles are a nutritionally sound food. And anyway, who doesn't like a good conga? We're hungry, hungry hippos! We're hungry, hungry hippos! It's pretty contagious.



Lite Brite: Turn on the Magic of Shining Light



Okay, you got me. This isn't technically a game, per se, but the song has been stuck in my head since circa 1994 and I just couldn't bear the burden alone anymore. Thanks for saddling your share.



Connect Four: Go For It!



After seeing this commercial, I couldn't wait to hang out with my expressive, wisecracking Connect Four checkers. Imagine my shock to find mine were defective. They never said a thing.



Crossfire: You'll Get Caught Up in the (Crossfire!)


I've got to hand it to these ad people. They really manage to make a moderately fun board game look a fast-paced superhero action adventure. I always thought the song went, "Crossfire, you'll get caught up in the," as if they were filing it in the library's card catalog. "Let's see, let's see...It's by last name first, so that would be 'Crossfire comma you'll get caught up in the."



Kerplunk: (Insert Badass Rap Here)


If there's a more quintessentially 90s commercial out there, let me know, because I'm pretty sure this is it. These kids are having almost too much fun. You've got to question if Kerplunk really has the power to make that little girl throw her head back and cackle in pure ecstasy. Maybe she just really likes the rap. I know it does it for me. "Start with the sticks! Like so! Makin' a pit! Where the marbles go!"



Guess Who: Can You Guess Who?


Thank goodness for that disclaimer at the end: "Game cards do not actually talk." Could you imagine what a letdown we'd have gotten if we'd just believed our game cards would spontaneously spring to life upon initiating game play? The notion is almost too exciting to bear. Fortunately, our dream-crushing friends over at Milton Bradley have made sure to quash any sense of childlike whimsy and imagination.



Mousetrap: The Fun is Catching!


The fun is catching. Hmm. I mean, I get it, yes, very clever, but it sounds like we all need to wear swine-flu facemasks to engage in a simple round of mouse-trapping. I did always like those scheming cartoon mice at the beginning of the ad. They seem so determined to chart their route, I almost felt a little guilty thwarting their well-laid plans.


It's a testament to these ad campaigns that we can still hum along to their corny jingles fifteen-odd years down the road. I suppose there are worse things to have squatter's rights on your mindspace. You might not be able to solve a quadratic equation without a bit of scrap paper, but at least you'll have some good internal theme music going while you try to work it out.

Children of the 90s Nostalgia-Fest 2010 Giveaway!

So, I have a confession to make. Since we've all been being honest and doing lots of sharing here at Children of the 90s this week, I guess I'll just lay it out straight for you. I had every intention of putting up a full post for today, but you ever-patient readers are going to have to wait till Monday. I just can't contain my excitement over the criminally nostalgic stash of 90sness I've assembled for my 500 follower celebratory giveaway. I've put in what can only be described as an insane amount of effort into amassing some 90s goodies, and this level of personal time investment can't be reduced to just a link at the bottom of a post. I can only hope you all like the 90s gift basket I've assembled half as much as I do. If you don't, I'm a bit worried I might end up keeping it myself.

I love giveaways and I've thought a lot about doing one of my own, but the timing never seemed quite right. Until now, that is, when I had a day off brimming with spare time to search far and wide for the most memorable 90s items still available. It wasn't easy; most of the stuff we get all glassy-eyed about over here no longer graces the shelves at our favorite stores. The new versions of many of our favorite toys pale in comparison. And the ones that don't (I'm looking at you, awesome new Bop It) are out of my giveaway price range.

That said, I think you are going to get pretty pumped over the giveaway fruits of my 90s searching labors. I live right by one of the largest used bookstores in the country, so imagine my delight to find just how many awesome authentic items were available at my fingertips in like-new condition. Granted, it's hard to come by mint editions of these items, and I'm all about health and safety and not getting sued so I'm going to forego the discontinued foods route. Nope, what I've put together is a fun little cross section of 90s childhood, conveniently packaged and delivered to your doorstep. Assuming you win, that is.

This could be you! With better fashion color sense, though

Just to give you an idea of what I went through to bring you this superior childhood nostalgia-themed givewaway, imagine the reaction of a checkout employee when they see you bounding toward the register with the following items in tow. The Half-Price Books cashier was pretty cool, he looked to be maybe a few years older than me. He definitely gave me the single raised eyebrow (a talent I have yet to achieve) and asked, "So...are these for you?" I wish I was better at real-life self promotion, in which case I would have responded brightly, "No, they're for a super reader giveaway at my always-growing 90s themed website! Come check it out!" Instead I mumbled, "Um...no," and busied myself searching in my purse.

To the credit of my selections though, they definitely met the approval of my cashier. He waxed poetic about the virtues of Goosebumps and Choose Your Own Adventure books, calling them "kick-ass" and giving me a great in to tell him all about Children of the 90s. Luckily for all of you, I was too embarrassed from coming to the register with a heaping armload of 90s children's items, so that means a better chance of winning for all of you! I'm sure if I've been wearing one of our soon-to-exist Children of the 90s T-shirts, though, it would have made an easy and less embarrassing segue into explanation of my purchases. Keep an eye out here, because these shirts are coming. Soonish.

Here's how it works: to gain one entry into the Children of the 90s Nostalgia-Fest 2010 Giveaway, simply comment below and mention which of the items you'd be most excited about winning. Remember, they're all a package deal, but I'm curious to see how my choices go over. To gain a second entry into the giveaway, become a follower on Blogger and let me know in your comment. For a third, become a Facebook fan and drop a note in the comments. For the fourth and final available entry, let me know if you've tweeted or blogged about the giveaway. It just that easy!

One last thing: due to my meager paycheck-induced poverty, I have yet to replace my now-broken digital camera. I was able to find images of all of the items online, but none are the actual images of the items. I promise, though, they do exist, and they all look almost exactly like the photos Google images was sweet enough to round up for me. I think that's about it for the fine print. Without further ado, I present to you...(*drumroll*) the contents of the first ever Children of the 90s Nostalgia Fest giveaway! (*resounding applause*)

All this could be yours!


Disney Magic Eye

Milk Moustache Mania

A book of many of the the popular milk mustache campaign ads with background information. What's not to love?

Goosebumps: My Hairiest Adventure


Help! I'm Trapped in My Teacher's Body



BSC Super Special #11: The Baby-Sitters Remember



Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul



Magic Grow Capsules:

(Again, photo not of actual item....you get wildlife, not dinosaurs! Who doesn't love wildlife?)

Rainbow Nerds

Lisa Frank Sticker Dreams

This is a new pack, so we've got some updated designs here. They're on a roll so I can't see all of them, but I do see a painting panda bear. That one seems pretty promising. Anyway, in case there's no scale here...this pack is tiny. It includes 100 stickers, but they're all of the miniature variety.

And....la piece de resistance:
THE ADVENTURES OF PETE AND PETE SEASON 1 on DVD!!



Don't forget to read the above rules to maximize your entries :) The giveaway will close Wednesday, February 17. Good luck! Comment below to indicate your entries.

Your Burning Children of the 90s Questions Answered!

I've got to say, this has been a lot of fun. I love writing Children of the 90s, but I don't get a lot of opportunities to interact with readers. You all came up with some great questions, many of which had me pacing and deliberating over responses. I mean, really, how does one choose between JTT and Devon Sawa? It's a dilemma that might exceed the reach of even my 90s imagination. A quandry for the ages.

I powered through the tough ones, though, to answer all your burning questions. Well, maybe burning isn't the right word. If it applies to anything you asked, I'd recommend your question sees a doctor immediately. Anyway, if anyone else has any questions or suggestions for posts, feel free to email me at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com. Thanks everyone for your great questions and kind comments and I'm looking forward to bringing you plenty more nostalgic pop culture entertainment in the coming months. I'm also scouting for some exciting giveaway prizes, so keep your eyes out for some forthcoming 90s swag.

Without further ado, your answers:

Shannon asks, "Do you have any nostalgic collections?"

I'll be straight with you, this one isn't mine, it's from Google images. Impressive, though, right?

I used to, which I guess would mean that collections themselves were not nostalgic at the time but rather that I'm nostalgic for them now. I used to collect troll dolls. I had a pretty massive collection, but I imagine most of them have gone the way of the yard sale or the Goodwill collection. I'm still kicking myself for not saving my well-maintained pog collection. I'm not sure what I'd use them for now, but I do sort of miss them.

Now that I think about it, I do have one small collection that pays homage to my childhood: my much-glorified Golden Girls DVDs. Yep, I've got Seasons 1-7, and I watch it everyday while I get ready for work. Mock me if you must, but that show will never lose its timeless hilarity. Even the dated 80s and 90s pop culture reference jokes make me laugh.

Melissa Blake asks, "Nsync or BSB?"

Ooh, that's a tough one. The classic 90s teenybopper divide. My first-ever concert was actually the Backstreet Boys Larger Than Life tour when I was in 8th grade. I screamed, I cried, I fought a girl in the row behind me for a teddy bear dropped from a ceiling-dangling Nick. I guess the festering wounds of that stuffed animal loss never quite healed, because I was really more of an *NSYNC girl. My unwavering devotion to Justin was cultlike in its fidelity.

Cee asks, "What made you want to blog about 90s stuff? Did you have a blog before? Basically, how was this fab blog "born"?"

Good question. Sometimes it makes me laugh when people email me asking if I sell Puppy Surprises or if I know the obscure name of their local rural children's radio DJ 20 years back. I have a confession to make...I don't know anything special about the 90s. Well, actually that's not true. I do now, after churning out daily posts for the last 250 days, but when I started I was just trying out a niche topic.

It actually all started with my boyfriend, so I suppose you can thank him or blame him depending on how much valuable time you've lost to the site. I'd been talking to him about how I loved to write, and I'd love to get in a practice of writing daily so I could eventually write a book. By eventually I meant in 20 years, but he's far less patient (read: less lazy) than me. He convinced me to start something up. I didn't have a blog before, actually. I didn't want to make it personal because I was afraid of being blog-outed at work. Of course, a lot of personal anecdotes started slipping in; I couldn't keep it totally objective. If I wanted to write anything funny, I realized I'd probably have to lay myself down on the altar of shame and sacrifice blackmail-worthy past humiliations for the greater good of 90s entertainment.

I'd spent hours on sites like Cakewrecks and Stuff White People Like, so I started thinking of something I could write about daily with the goal of sticking to about 1000 words or more. Obviously I had no idea what I was getting into, but I'm really enjoying the experience nonetheless!

Tara asks, "Does it ever get hard to think of something 90's to blog about? Do you think a time will come when you'll just run out?"

I definitely didn't draw this, but I wish I had. Isn't it amazing?

I'd have to say yes and maybe. To the first question, it definitely is tougher than I thought. When I started, I had infinite possibilities, which of course I squandered on my then reader-less blog. I actually put together a sort of "master list" of ideas. I managed to come up with about 300, which is clearly insane and represents the inordinate amount of downtime I have at the office. I actually participated in a Google Blogger study, and I was a little embarrassed when they asked to see this master list through screen-sharing. Even over the phone, I'm pretty sure they were judging me.

That said, I didn't realize going into this what a major commitment it is to write so much each day. Also, my childhood was definitely not the same as everyone else's, so it gets more difficult to think of topics to which significant proportion of 20-somethings could relate. I've learned to save websites that interest me, pick up a book or two at used book stores, and to generally keep my eyes out for anything I think might be funny and/or memorable.

Andy asks, "Of all the SNICK shows, which was your favorite and why?

That's a tough one. I'd love to act cool and say Are You Afraid of the Dark? but really I was a huge wimp as a kid. It totally gave me nightmares. I still think sometimes about that weird red swamp thing that lived in the pool...*shudder*. I'd have to say my favorite was The Secret World of Alex Mack. I would've given anything to hang out with Larissa Oleynik and see how they made her turn into a puddle of mirrored liquid. She was just too cool.

Kristen asks, "JTT or Devon Sawa?"


It's like you broke into my 13-year old mind and found all of the Bop! foldouts plastering its walls. It's almost a tie, but I think Devon Sawa really got me in Now and Then. My friend told me you could see him running naked through the woods and we tried forever to pause it at just the right moment. Never did catch it, but the fun was in the chase.

Taylor Hanson or Nick Carter?


Nick Carter, for sure. See above my resounding bitterness about not getting to keep that teddy bear he dropped at the concert.


The Wonder Years or Boy Meets World?

That's like asking someone which of their children they love more. I loved both so dearly, though my teenage years intersected more closely with Boy Meets World. I do think Wonder Years pulled the plug in time where BMW kept the show going well past its sell-by date. Either way, I'd have to say it's a toss-up.

Brunch at Saks asks, :I have been going crazy over this for a LONG time (like going on 10 years) so hear me out! When I was 8 yrs old- so roughly 93/94- I tried out to be a kid correspondent on FOX Kids. I'm sure you remember the run of shows that they would play in the morning or afternoon block, and in between the shows they would have short segments where kids would report the news. In my auditions I would do screen tests with the main male (adult) host on this show, and for the life of me I cannot remember his name! I know he was popular because when I showed kids at school my pictures with him they all thought it was so cool to meet him! I think his name was Chris something, but all of my Wikipedia and IMDB searches leave me with nothing! I also can't really find anything about the news show itself, so any info you could dig up or know of yourself would be such a help to piecing together this bad memory of mine!"

Wow, that i quite the question. First of all, I'm beyond jealous of your FOX Kids experience. Did you ever make it as a correspondent? Is it possible it was a local program? In a brief search, I found Chris Leary, a personality on the Fox Kids radio show. http://www.kyranthia.net/countdown.html It doesn't sound like he was on TV, though. I also found Chris Eddy http://www.dorkclub.com/?p=34, but he sounds possibly local to the Northern California region.

Or, was it maybe this guy:



I don't think any of these are what you're talking about, but I will keep looking! Regardless, that video is sort of entertaining so please enjoy :)

Anonymous asks, "If you were stuck on a island and could only have one VHS to watch, which one would it be?"

That's a tough one. I'd like to name some obscure, thought-provoking independent film with subtitles, but truthfully my choices in the era of VHS were not so highbrow. To be honest, I'm leaning toward Troop Beverly Hills. I know the whole movie by heart, but I still love it. It's probably tied with Clueless and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I watched both of those on VHS at least 30 times. They're like old friends. I felt so betrayed when VHS technology went out of date, it was like severing ties with some of my closest pals.


The One With... asks, "How do you decide on your topic for the day?"

I wish I could say I have a system, but usually I look through my list and try to get inspired. A lot of the time I'll start an introduction for a few different topics before I settle on one I'd like to write about. I want to make sure it's something people can relate to. Sometimes I think I've thought of a topic that will go over well, and it seems to bomb. I like writing features that focus on several different specific topics under a more general theme umbrella--there's a better chance that y'all will find something that strikes a memory chord. It also involves less extensive research, but I swear it's not just my laziness. In the eternally wise words of Sister Hazel, it's all for you, 90s children.

Sadako asks, "Cuter Boy Meets World hottie, Eric or Shawn?"


For me, it was Eric, no contest. They both had great hear, though. Ryder Strong might win in a cool name contest, but I had a thing for Will Friedle.

The K Family asks, "Ever think about making an "I love the 80's" site as well?"
I would love to, as a lot of the memories are overlapping. Children of the 90s are usually Babies of the 80s, so there's a lot of nostalgic gray area. I've realized that writing one daily blog is a lot of work, though; I don't think I could handle two! To keep my sanity intact and the sarcasm flowing, I think I need to concentrate my efforts.

digigirl02 asks, "I was wondering if you could do a blog on pogs?"


Ah, the eternal debate. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for "holding on" to big topics in case I get a bunch of new readers. I don't want to give it all away too soon, or there'll be nothing left to reminisce over. This strategy seems to be a bust, though, because the topics I think people will go nuts for usually end up being pretty tame. Beanie Babies really didn't catch on the way I'd expected. Either way, a pogs post is definitely forthcoming.

Jessica Martin asks, "When's the 90210 blog?"


It's definitely in the works! I have this weird blogging tic where I'm sort of afraid to write about my favorite things for fear I won't do justice to them. I want to make sure I'm writing about those things on days when I'm really on. I'm afraid they won't be the same unless I can get some really good jokes in there. I was actually planning on writing about 90210 one day last week, but it sort of segued into a topic of 30-year old actors portraying high school students. That's really here nor there, though, I promise I would never forget 90210.


Thanks again to everyone for writing in questions and supporting this crazy blog project. When I first started it and set up Analytics, I remember seeing that 14 people had visited and I was in awe, so you can imagine my surprise to find that it's sort of catching on. You guys are the best. We're actually hashing out some T-shirt designs, I may have to put them up for a vote. I think it's a fun idea and my boyfriend (who is literally my #1 fan, according to Facebook) has been working on some very cool mock-ups. I'm off to search the Dallas area for some promising giveaway items. I can't promise a date for this mythical giveaway, but I promise to make it fun. I'll see all of you tomorrow for some good old fashioned 90s ribbing.