90s Teen Idols: Hunks Edition...Yes, I Said It..."Hunks"

It may seem easy these days to pick on the dog-whistle declibly screechy screaming hordes of Justin Bieber fans, but mainly because many of us girls have selectively blocked out memories of our own embarrassing teen idol worship. Back in our adolescent years, we did more than our fair share of shrieking over tame pin-up celebrity teen centerfolds ripped from BOP! or J17 magazine. Embarrassing? Yes. Escapable? No. Nostalgic? Absolutely.

Teen stars usually have a capable team of managers and industry experts who specialize in issuing their clients as a palatable brand: The Bad Boy, The Sensitive One, The Free Spirit. The 90s boy band boom specialized in this sort of one-dimensional projection of celebrity personality, condensing full people into an exclamation mark-laden photo caption in a teen magazine fluff piece. These brief blurbs were practically irrelevant to young girls, though--we were far more interested in collecting the tear-out posters and plastering our walls with their dreamy likenesses.

All you heterosexual male children of the 90s may just have to hold your tongues on this one--or rather, your impulsively commenting typing fingers. Yes, this is admittedly incredibly girly fare, but it was in its own way a thriving industry throughout the decade. Some of us spent inordinate quantities of time and resources collecting airbrushed publicity photos and devouring carefully managed and processed information about these young male celebrities. As a female child of the 90s, it's still a little tough to repress my swooning reflex at these photos. That said, I'm open to taking bids from male blogging volunteers to detail the other side of the teen idol coin. Oh, and by bids I mean just send me an email and we'll talk. Thanks.

Until that point, here is our squealing, giddy side of the teen idol story:


Jonathan Taylor Thomas



Best known for his role as Randy Taylor from the TV show Home Improvement, Jonathan Taylor Thomas was a major young commodity in the 90s. He cemented his young appeal with family-friendly roles in films like Tom and Huck, Man of the House, I'll Be Home for Christmas, and The Lion King. Plus, he had that hair. My god, that hair. 90s teen idols really knew how to lay on the mousse.


Devon Sawa


One glance at Sawa in Little Giants or as the human version of the animated ghost Casper and we fell hard. Add to that the glimpse of his butt during the naked-boys-running-through-the-woods segment of Now and Then and you've got yourself a serious celebrity crush.


Leonardo DiCaprio



Now here's a child star with staying power. Leonardo DiCaprio has maintained respectable and relatively incident-free fame since his breakthrough role on Growing Pains. Following his roles in Romeo + Juliet and especially Titanic, teen girls worldwide broke out in contagious fits of floppy hair-induced Leo-Mania. In atypical teen idol form, though, DiCaprio shunned his "Tiger Beat" image and sought credit as a legitimate actor. A 2000 Time article explains:

"...DiCaprio still thinks of himself as an edgy indie actor, not the Tiger Beat cover boy. "I have no connection with me during that whole Titanic phenomenon and what my face became around the world...Although it's got to hurt deep inside, DiCaprio says he's at peace with being usurped by the Backstreet Boys. 'I'll never reach that state of popularity again, and I don't expect to,' he says. 'It's not something I'm going to try to achieve either.' Instead, he has spent his post-Titanic life avoiding interviews."

It certainly didn't hurt him any; DiCaprio has since achieved an impressive acting resume, boasts numerous award nominations and wins, and has dated scores of supermodels. All in all, I'd say he came out of teen stardom pretty well.


Jared Leto


I don't care if you are on Team Brian Krakow--you have to admit Leto as the rebellious and near-illiterate Jordan Catalano on My So-Called Life was worthier of our swooning affections. Leto went on to appear in films such as Requiem for a Dream and achieved musical fame as lead singer/songwriter/guitarist for the band 30 Seconds to Mars. It's hard to believe that this former teen star is now 38 years old. Really. 38. I'd always sort of thought I had a chance with him, so I'm shocked to learn that when I was idolizing him at age 10, he was already in his mid-20s.


Hanson


Take heed, Jonas Brothers: you're next. Brothers? Check. Religious? Check. Endearingly floppy hair? Check. It's like looking into the future. Truthfully, the Hanson brothers weren't nearly as persistently chart-topping, but their hit "MMMBop" established them as serious contenders for teen idoldom.


Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC



These two groups deserve far more than a fleeting mention, but as this is a compilation post that's the best they can expect to get. These rival harmony-rich tightly managed boy bands dominated the pop music scene in the 90s, both catering to the same general screaming young girl fan base. The record companies and teen magazines portrayed each band member as a specific and easily definable "type," featuring characters like The Sensitive Guy and The Baby of the Group. Incidentally, these characters were actually real people, but for years they resided pretty comfortably in a describable space of 100-200 words.


Rider Strong


I'll say it again: teen stars in the 90s had the best hair. It wasn't too featherily androgynous like in the 70s or bat-poop crazy a la Flock of Seagulls in the 80s. Rider Strong had great 90s hair, though he and Will Friedle probably could have duked it out for the title of most attractive Boy Meets World cast member while hair is blowing gently in the breeze.



Andrew Keegan


We met Keegan as a camper in the Home Alone-esque summer flick Camp Nowhere, after which he made the rounds on the requisite teen-dream guest part circuit in shows like Full House, 7th Heaven, and Party of Five. Add a dash of satirical modeldom in 10 Things I Hate about You and you've got yourself a teen star. His acting career may not be accelerating at the rate it did in his younger days, but his fame will undoubtedly live on through the ceaseless rerunning of 10 Things on television.


Luke Perry and Jason Priestley





These two were both beloved by teens for their respective roles on Beverly Hills, 90210. At the time they seemed the epitome of the cool teenager, which is somewhat ironic considering they were both in their 20s at the time. Yes, these two former heartthrobs are currently in their 40s. How old does that make you feel? Don't fight it, it will only hurt more. Embrace your aging teen dreamboats.


Some remain famous and others have faded into obscurity, but they're forever ingrained in our memories as teen idols. In some cases, their likenesses are still attached to the walls of our childhood rooms, cementing their stardom for posterity. Believe me, if I could plaster my current walls with old foldouts of Andrew Keegan and Luke Perry, I would. Really. I wonder if eBay is a viable marketplace for Tiger Beat magazine circa 1996...

The Simpsons

At this point, The Simpsons has been on the air so long it's difficult to remember it was once a fledgling enterprise; at this point its presence has become so ubiquitous it's pretty much just one long unending stretch of syndication and reruns. While now the show holds court as the longest-running sitcom, at the time of its debut in 1989 the notion of a adult-targeted animated television series had many critics scoffing. After all, cartoons are for kids. If you're going to make a show for grown-ups, why not cast it as a live-action series with real actors? It just didn't add up.



Matt Groening and friends were clearly onto something, though, based on not only the incomparable longevity of the series but also judging from the innumerable grown-up animated shows that spawned in its wake. Although the show's main target audience was adults, many family-focused groups took issue with the allegedly poor behavioral example the show espoused. Bart became an easy target for outrage as critics spoke out against his irreverence and misbehavior met with little to no discipline. For those of us out there relying on television to parent our children, this was bad news indeed.

The Simpson family made their television debut as a short on the Tracy Ullman show in 1987, featuring parents Homer and Marge, children Bart and Lisa, and baby Maggie. The animation was crude and the voices were rough around the edges, but the show's initial concept has remained largely untouched since its premiere. Groening named the characters after his own family members, replacing his own name with Bart, an anagram for "brat." Aside from some tinkering with the Lisa character, the characters America met in these late-80s shorts remain largely frozen in time.



Their audience, of course, has aged considerably, but there's something reassuring about the sameness and reset-button quality of unchanging television. Aside from the quality of the writing, that is. You can't stay hip and irreverent forever, though The Simpsons held onto their satirical credibility for an impressive run. Quantity and quality are always difficult factors to balance, and quantity usually emerges victorious in the end. Regardless, the show deserves credit for its incredible perseverance in the face of lagging ratings. As long as Dan Castellanetta is still there interpreting the scripts' "annoyed grunt" as "D'oh!", there will be a considerable group of people willing to to tune in.

In an amazing feat of faithfulness, the original 1987 cast still provides voices for today's shows. After 21 seasons, these voice actors have established some pretty cushy job security.We can't chalk it all up to rah-rah solidarity and deep commitment to art, though; the almighty dollar played a pretty major role in their extensive retention. At $400,000 an episode for reading off of a script in the comfort of a sound studio, it's seems like a tough offer to refuse. In defense of their exorbitant paychecks, the voice actors employed by The Simpsons are indeed talented and multifaceted. Observe, a clip from the cast's appearance on Behind the Actor's Studio:



Like any good merchandising machine, the show introduced a number of catch phrases into the modern vernacular. They could hardly print the slogan-emblazoned t-shirts fast enough. Bart's signature "Ay Caramba!" "Don't Have a Cow, Man" and the ever-popular "Eat my Shorts" caught on quickly. Some American schools banned Simpsons apparel on the basis of its rebelliousness and in-your-face anti-authority attitude. There's nothing like tv-driven neologisms to really bring out the censor in our humorless figures of minor authority.

The Simpsons established a number of well-known and easily recognizable hallmarks throughout its run. The show's writers specifically chose the town name of Springfield as the basis of a long-running gag, concealing the city's location and giving vague misleading clues about the Simpsons' home state. The opening sequence also features Bart in full old-school punishment mode, forced to write "I will not ______________" or some such reprimand 100 times over on the classroom blackboard.



The show was no stranger to controversy, embracing its role from an early date as a source of social commentary and tongue-in-cheek satirical digs. The Simpsons has caught flack from a variety of sources, including the Rio de Janeiro tourism board for an episode which they claim depicted Brazil as a crime-ridden, pest-infested hellhole. The elder Bush president also stirred things up in 1992, declaring in an address to the National Religious Broadcasters convention that "This nation needs to be closer to the Waltons than the Simpsons." In typical Simpsons fashion, creator Matt Groening shot back, "Hey, the Simpsons are just like the Waltons. Both families are praying for an end of the Depression." Burn.

Perhaps no contemporary show has embraced the celebrity cameo and guest star role to the gratuitous extent of The Simpsons. Some celebrities had ongoing gigs with The Simpsons playing recurring fictional characters, such as Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, and Kelsey Grammar. Others, like Michael Jackson and Mel Brooks, made memorable one-time appearances. The show actually holds the Guiness Book of World Records title for "Most Celebrities Featured on an Animated Series." Who knew such a thing existed, but it's apparently a valid claim to fame. It just goes to show, if you get specific enough with your criteria, we can all be bragging-rights worthy record holders someday. Someday.



It's far from high art, but The Simpsons has had more than its fair share of influence over the last 20-odd years. It doesn't hold quite the level of impact on social commentary as it did during its popularity heyday, but the show's persistence in the media marketplace is admirable. So long as Bart is still out there serving as a bad role model for children and imploring us to eat his shorts, The Simpsons will remain a pervasive element of pop culture in our society. in And hey, when that's over and done with, there's always syndicated reruns. So many, many reruns.

Memorable Dance Scenes in 80s and 90s Movies

There are certain movie moments that have an enduring impact, resonating with film-watchers long after they've left the theater or turned off the DVD. Dance scenes in particular resonate well with movie fans. When executed well, these moments have the power to morph into iconic imagery, inspiring their fair share of parody and mocking. We may all be sick of Pulp Fiction dance knock-offs, but it's a testament to the original that it's spawned so many lesser imitators. Much, much lesser.

While some of these movies may predate some of us children of 90s' birthdates by a year or two, their popularity was long-standing enough to make them a memorable part of our childhood. Whether you blame on VHS or incessant TV re-running, these movies are well-known to kids coming of age in the 90s. Plus, it would be pretty difficult to compile a list of favorite dance movie moments while completely overlooking the 80s; the easy cheesiness of 80s movies was a prime breeding ground for iconic dance scenes.

Just to be clear, there's a fine line in defining these categories here at Children of the 90s. Avid readers (I'm probably flattering myself here) may remember a feature entitled "80s and 90s Spontaneous Group Dance Scenes Where Everyone Knows Exactly What to Do." This blog has never been short on specificity. If we're splitting hairs, we (okay, I) may as well set some ground rules for these entirely different set of dance scene movie moments:

1. They're generally in character. Most of these moments don't have us suspending our disbelief at completely uncharacteristic behavior from our principal actors. The moves might be over-the-top or silly, but these dances are reasonably within the parameters of the characters' behavior and ability.

2. They may be prerehearsed. Unlike the She's All That style prom dance phenomenon, the majority of these dances involve some sort of choregraphing backstory. In the case of the 80s movies, these rehearsals are best shown to us in the form of a training montage, culminating in the achievement of a tough move timed at the most climactic moment in the corresponding background music. If the moment does occur spontaneously, it's realistically within the ability of our stars.

3. They usually involve relatively few dancers. Instead of large scale Fame-style scenes that could now be classified as formidable flash mobs, plain old "dance moments" are mostly sparsely populated affairs.

With those rules that I've just made up firmly in place, it's time to meet our contenders for memorable 80s and 90s movie dance scenes:


(I've Had) the Time of my Life (Dirty Dancing)


dirty dancing - time of my life (video)2
Uploaded by carlson.

Oh, how I once longed for Jennifer Grey's dress in this scene. It probably wouldn't be quite so twirly without the dancing talent, but I like to think wearing it would have given me the motivation to learn. Few of us can ever hear "(I've Had) the Time of my Life" without immediately thinking of the big lift at the end. It's also purportedly the third most popular song played at British funerals. That fact is from Wikipedia, so take it as you will, but if it's true it's incredibly ridiculous.


What A Feeling and Maniac (Flashdance)?



If you ever need inspiration for costuming yourself for an 80s party, look no further than Flashdance. This movie is an 80s cliche goldmine, from it's ripped-neck off the shoulder t-shirts to the ubiquitous leg warmers. The movie also serves as a great guide for how to cast your dance movie with a non-dancing star through heavy reliance on misleading body doubles. If she's wearing the same leg warmers, it's got to be the same person, right?



Footloose (Footloose)



Based on movie industry standards, we're all just a mere six degrees from starring in this movie. Really makes you feel a part of it, doesn't it? Kevin Bacon plays Ren, a city teen who finds himself in an oppressive small town with a serious aversion to rock n' roll. I do mean serious. Sense of humor isn't really the town's strong suit. Somehow, though, Ren stages a full 180, and everyone realizes just how great rock music and dancing can be. It's cheesy, but everyone seems to be having such a genuinely good time it's tough not to get caught up in it.


You Can Never Tell (Pulp Fiction)



This scene is pure Tarantino, a man who's vision can be pretty divisive. His work is very stylized, full of personal trademarks, meta-references, and usually reliant on a nonlinear storytelling method. Whether you love him or you hate him, it's tough to deny the appeal of this scene. Something about it just works. Maybe it's the way they seem to be taking themselves so seriously, or possibly it's the thrill of seeing John Travolta back in dancing action. Whatever it is, it all adds up to an incredibly memorable dance scene.


Tango (Scent of a Woman)



This truly is a beautiful scene, expertly choreographed and set to the instrumental "Por Una Corbeza". It's quieter and less outwardly dramatic than some of the dances on this list, but it's moving in its own right. As Lieutenant Colonel Slade tells Donna, "If you make a mistake and get all tangled up, just tango on." Wise words, indeed.


Old Time Rock n' Roll (Risky Business)



When I first started living by myself, I had to constantly repress my impulse to don men's briefs and some Wayfarer sunglasses while blasting some Bob Seger. After watching this movie, it can become a tough prospect to resist. That and turning your home into an impromptu brothel. Really, we all fall into that trap from time to time

Risky Business established Tom Cruise as a bona fide sex symbol, shaping his career for the better part of the next decade or so. Recently, his public image has gone sort of the way of Britney Spears; that is, their names were once used as incredibly favorable comparisons, they're still putting out arguably solid work, but their forays in crazy public behavior has led to a drop in their celebrity stock. Whenever I see clips of Tom Cruise couch-jumping with glee or accusing Matt Lauer of glibness, I try to block it all out with the image from the above scene. It's pretty powerful--it usually does the trick.



Chopsticks/Heart and Soul (Big)



Big is big on heart, effectively capturing the earnestness of children before they're inevitably ravaged by the cynicism of imagination-crushing adulthood. It may sound bleak, but there are moments of reprieve when we can transport ourselves back to our childhood mindset. That's why you're here reading, after all.

Tom Hanks plays a magically aged man-child, and his innocence and enthusiasm is contagious to his adult peers. Some might argue that this is not a dance per se, but if you've ever attempted any sort of cohesive melody on the giant piano mat at FAO Schwarz you know it takes an incredible amount of kinesthetic coordination. Dance or not, it's pretty darn heartwarming.



Dancing in Heaven (Girls Just Want to Have Fun)



It's entirely possible this movie played a significantly smaller role in your childhood than in mine, but as someone whose family owned a very limited number of VHS tapes my daily watching regimen was regularly split between this movie and The Sound of Music. On the sum of these alternating days, I watched Girls Just Want to Have Fun something like 200 times, yet I never managed to master the dance at their DTV final on-air competition. This movie's got the requisite 80s montage and tons of great dancing footage, not to mention some awesome costumes. If you ever see Helen Hunt's lizard hat in a thrift shop somewhere, please pick it up for me. I promise to pay you back.


Doesn't this all just make you want to have a life-affirming dance moment in your day? It seems like the perfect culminating event to wrap up your day's story line. Imagine how much more interesting a day at the office would be if the climax of your workday was marked by a Baby and Johnny-style dramatic lift? That's the world I'd like to someday live in. Someday.