Guest Post: 90s TV BFFs

Welcome to yet another installment in this series of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We have several pieces in the works and we are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email to childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

Guest blogger Lauren of The Unprofessional Critic has put together a great list of 90s TV BFFs for your reading enjoyment. You can check out her blog at http://unprofessionalcritic.blogspot.com, on Facebook at The Unprofessional Critic, and on Twitter at @unprocritic.

90s TV BFFs

Ah, BFF's. They may not get along 100% of the time, but they're bonded for life (or at least until cancellation). And in the 1990's, best friends were dominating the airwaves. Behold, five of my favorite dynamic duos:

1. Wayne and Garth ("Wayne's World," Saturday Night Live)

As a kid I totally wanted Wayne and Garth's lifestyle: how cool would it be to co-host a TV show with your best friend? Needless to say, I didn't understand until much later that they lived in a suburb. With their parents. Still, whether they were shouting out their theme song, freaking out over Aerosmith, or spouting impromptu haikus, these two always had fun together. Excellent!

2. Felicity and Sally (Felicity)

Felicity premiered my freshman year of college and my roommates and I were obsessed. We were also college freshmen in a big city! And we also wore dorky sweaters! True, Felicity and her chief confidante Sally weren't traditional BFF's - their audio letters to each other meant Sally (voiced by 90's icon Janeane Garofolo) was only heard, never seen. Plus, as Felicity's former French tutor, Sally was considerably older. But Felicity was guarded that first year of university, just coming into her own and learning to trust classmates and friends in a completely new environment. It was Sally who heard her innermost thoughts, her struggles with relationships, classes and career paths. And once in a while, Sally would offer some sage advice that brought tears to my naive 18-year-old eyes (shut up).

3. DJ and Kimmy (Full House)

My sister and I, die-hard Full House fans even when it descended into the madness of poop jokes and way too many twins, each had our own Tanner family counterpart. As the "neglected middle child" (her words), she identified with Stephanie. As the bossy (also her words) eldest of three, I was Team DJ all the way. And wherever Deej was, her buddy/neighbor Kimmy Gibbler was never far behind. Kimmy started out as a normal (if slightly annoying) little girl and ended the series as a brightly-clothed borderline superfreak with a boyfriend who could only say one word. (My sister claims my high school boyfriend looked exactly like Dwayne. Whatever.) But how can you not love a best friend who buys you a rad lavender sequined baseball cap? If I were Kimmy, however, I would have been thrilled with that impromptu hash-brown birthday cake. Pass the ketchup!

4. Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-head)

As a 14-year-old misanthrope without a driver's license, in a decade where ironic snark was the name of the game, my late nights were spent in front of our ancient basement TV, hand poised over the Off button in case my mom caught me watching my two favorite shows: The State and Beavis and Butt-head. (Will Smith said it best: parents just don't understand.) The latter spent their evenings in front of a TV, making fun of stupid music videos. Sure, they smacked each other around and claimed the Beatles ruined music, but I understood them. We were in the same awkward, bored boat. (And because Mike Judge is awesome, these guys are about to get a revival. Long live the 90's!)

5. Clarissa and Sam (Clarissa Explains It All)

Come on: who DIDN'T want a Sam? Unlike the mouth-breathing philistines who populated my sixth-grade classroom, Sam was one righteous dude. He wore baggy clothes. He gamely went along with whatever offbeat scheme or fantasy Clarissa was digging into that week. For God's sake, he had a ladder and his very own guitar twang! Plus, he and Clarissa survived one very awkward date and snapped right back into the best friendship that was their destiny. I fully blame Sam for my string of cool guy pals with single-syllable names and awesome T-shirts, which began when I was twelve and continues to this day. (When are you gonna climb into my second-story apartment window, ROB?)

Like what you read? Check out Lauren on Facebook and Twitter!

Guest Post: Tear-Away Pants

Welcome to another installment in this series of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We have several pieces in the works and we are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email to childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

Let's all welcome guest blogger Laura of The Butterfly Collector blog. A little about Laura, in her own words:

I’m Laura and I like the smell of bread. Due to possible over-exposure to all things pop-culture throughout my years, I tend to have a dry sense of humour that has the synapses of my mind tying various thoughts together in strange ways. I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada and love my city. My blog is mostly about my adventures in life as I try to experience as much as I can. I am addicted to twitter (@lowqis) so if you want to see what I am up to, catch me there!

Be sure to check out Laura's blog and follow her on twitter to see more of her amusing musings! Here, she writes about some of the least functional but most poplar athletic wear trends of the 90s: tear-away pants. Take it away, Laura:


Tear-Away Pants

This weekend I ran the Ronald McDonald House “Rock the House Run.” My first 5k since the 90s (when I joined the high school running team to meet a boy I had an unrequited crush on). But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about Ronald McDonald wearing some wicked “tear-aways” in his traditional colours.

Ronald McDonald and me after the 5k

Remember these awesome pants?

Image from realcavsfans.com

Not only could you rock the Adidas trend, but also do it in such a way that at any moment a wardrobe malfunction could happen that as a teenager could lead to years of lying on a couch, dealing with the esteem issues that such embarrassment might have caused. OR, it could prepare our young selves for the biggest fitness craze to hit the new millennium – strippercize!

When I saw Ronald rocking his sweet tear-aways, I was brought back to my youth --when all I wanted was to own anything Adidas, the ultimate way to be one with my peers. Tear-aways were pretty high on my wish list. I liked the idea of only tearing them away up to my knee (or a little bit higher depending on how scandalous I felt – anything to garner the attention of my crush of the week!). I liked the idea that if it were to get too hot, I could rip them off and continue about my business. I also liked the idea (even if its not really factual) of fashion meeting function.

Brand names were not a huge priority in my house and shopping at Zellers (think Target or Wal-Mart) for knock-offs to suffice my need for the latest trends took place a lot (hey! Don’t judge. I was making $5 an hour on a good day babysitting). So off I went to find an appropriate pair of these fabulous pants. Somehow, knock-off designers missed the memo about the ability for these pants to fully be removed by tearing them away (hence the ever clever name of “tear-aways”). On the knock-offs, the entire side seams of the track pants would be snap buttons but the waist would still be intact, leaving only the fabric from the legs to flutter in the wind. This was perfect for the scandalous fashionista in me, but not-so-perfect for the functional part of this design.

How I evolved with this trend through out the 90s and beyond

• When I was 13, I had a pair of knock-off tear-aways. I was just your regular Sporty Spice in the making.
• When I was 15, I owned jeans that were slit up to the knee, exposing my “flirtatious” calves.
• When I was 18, I owned pants that laced up the outside seams from my hips to my thighs (think Christina Aguilera in the “Come on Over” music video) that I loved to wear to the night clubs. Scandalous!

And like Christina, I would up the sex appeal of this leg-baring trend with the ubiquitous belly-baring tops that fashion dictated we wear in the 90s.

Thank you Adidas, I salute you for creating a pant that formed my fashion sense during my impressionable years.

Guest Blog: Top 5 sports films of the ‘90s; or, Those who can’t do, watch movies

Welcome to this first exciting round of Children of the 90s guest blogs! We are still reviewing applications, so if you are interested in contributing to Children of the 90s, shoot us an email to childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

Now, please welcome our first guest blogger, Belle of Belle's Bookshelf! A little about Belle, in her own words:


I'm a 25-year-old writer, book addict, Disney nerd, 80s/90s aficionado and general pop culture junkie from Sydney, Australia. I blog about just one of my many obsessions (books) at Belle's Bookshelf (inspired by the Disney princess, of course), where I share reviews, book-to-movie comparisons, cool buys and other bookish fun. But I'm so excited to be writing about another obsession of mine - 90s movies - here at Children of the 90s!

You can find Belle at her Belle's Bookshelf blog here, or on facebook, twitter, or tumblr. Go check out her blog, stop by and say hi, and follow her on all of her social media outlets for the full Belle experience. Without further ado, here are Belle's favorite 90s sports movies:


Top 5 sports films of the ‘90s; or, Those who can’t do, watch movies

1. The Mighty Ducks (1992)

Emilio Estevez distances himself from his Brat Pack beginnings by playing a drunken a-hole of a lawyer who has to do community service (and confront demons from his past) by coaching a PeeWee ice hockey team that’s comprised of a ragtag bunch of kids, including the loudmouth, the overeater, the geek, the girl and the natural leader. Between this movie and the two (inferior, but still fantastic) sequels, I spent many a weekend with the Ducks growing up (and, er, maybe one or two lately).

Memorable moments: The Flying V; Charlie scoring the winning goal; Charlie introducing Joshua Jackson to the world (and my young heart); any scene with Hans.

2. The Sandlot (1993)

Set in 1962, The Sandlot tells the story of Smalls, the new kid in town who connects with the local (ragtag, of course) group of kids – and later, his stepfather – through baseball. Everything is going great until the group loses a ball signed by Babe Ruth in the yard of “The Beast”. The myriad madcap ways they try to get it back, and their other misadventures along the way, makes for compelling viewing, even today – yep, it’s actually stood the test of time!

Memorable moments: The rollercoaster vomit scene; the insult exchange; the pool scene; Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (*sigh*).

3. Little Giants (1994)

A, er, ragtag group of kids (I’m sensing a theme here) don’t make the local PeeWee football team so decide to form their own. Their star players are a girl named Icebox and a kid named Junior who throws toilet paper down grocery store aisles in his spare time. Sadly, this movie doesn’t fare so well on adult viewing, which makes me realise how awesome my mum’s blocking out skills are, because she never once complained during the 247 times I watched this. I’d like to say it was the cuteness of ultimate ‘90s heartthrob Devon Sawa that drew me in (and sure, he was about 65 per cent of it) but I actually thought this was hilarious.

Memorable moments: “Intimidation”; the Annexation of Puerto Rico; the argument that you can have kids without kissing but can’t get a job; Rick Moranis and Ed O’Neill as the most unlikely brothers in movie history.

4. Angels in the Outfield (1994)

In possibly the cheesiest sports movie of the ‘90s (and that’s saying something), baby Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a foster kid whose dad promises him they’ll be a family again when the California Angels baseball team wins. So he prays to God for the team to win, and, naturally, his prayers are answered and a flock of angels led by Doc Al (Christopher Lloyd) descend upon the field to help pro players Matthew McConaughey, Tony Danza and Adrien Brody. I have to admit I haven’t revisited this as an adult; I’m kinda scared all the angelicness will make me vom just a little bit. But hey, it was great at the time.

Memorable moments: The team manager, played by Danny Glover, throwing the locker room tantrum to end all locker room tantrums; Al manifesting from a cup of Coke; the whole crowd flapping their arms like seagulls, I mean angels; did I mention baby Joseph Gordon-Levitt?!

5. Space Jam (1996)

I’ve saved the best for last. Because this one stars an actual sporting legend, which automatically makes it the greatest sports movie of all time, amirite? Yep, in a hilarious mix of reality and cartoonary, the Looney Tunes kidnap Michael Jordan so they can beat the alien Monstar team (word play FTW), who in turn want to kidnap them and force them to entertain tourists at an extraterrestrial theme park called Moron Mountain. What kid didn’t believe they could fly after this movie? I know I did. Thanks, R. Kelly.

Memorable moments: Um, the whole movie? Seriously, it’s amazeballs.

For more from Belle, don't forget to check out her regular blog, Belle's Bookshelf! And of course, if you want to be the next guest blogger to see your stuff in print (well, online) here at Children of the 90s, apply via email at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com!

The 90s are All That Recap Series with Andy--Part 3

Children of the 90s is still taking applications for potential guest bloggers and collaborators! Contact us at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com to apply!
Welcome to another exciting installment of musings on 90s Nickelodeon, brought to you by me and my comedic partner in crime, Andy Shaw. We've had a criminally fun time putting these together and strolling down memory lane to recall just how much TV used to rot our brains as children. Hopefully you'll enjoy these memory-stirrers as much as we enjoy goofing around in the blogosphere writing these posts.

We're doing things a little differently this time around. You can scroll down to see our conversation about Clarissa Explains it All and Double Dare, and visit Andy's blog to read our memories and plea to the Nickelodeon people to add Hey Dude to their rotating TeenNick 90s is All That lineup. Be sure to check out both posts and of course, let us know via email, twitter (@childrenof90s and @wildarschase) or in the comments section what other shows you'd like to see in the series.

And of course, don't forget to check out parts 1 and 2, here and here!


Clarissa Explains it All



Children of the 90s: Never have I ever had a style and fashion icon quite like Clarissa Darling. Even watching the reruns on TeenNick, I can’t help wondering where she got her oversized Keith Haring t-shirt or checkerboard bike shorts. As a child, I used to dream of the day when my mom would let me wear a crop top, mini skirt, and pink tights like Clarissa does in the intro. Unfortunately, that day never came. Actually, I think I’m still waiting. Mom, what do you think of the crop top? Still no?

Clarissa was just pure cool. She was quirky but likable, and her granola family, nerdy brother, and floppy-haired window-climbing neighbor made for great situation comedy. She was smart and funny and totally unique. I watch the show now and still find myself wishing I could assemble ironic and interesting decor items like Clarissa. Hubcaps? Giant Swatch watch? Russian matryoshka dolls? Check, check, and check.h

WildARSChase: I wonder why she never really hooked up with Sam. He made it cool to use a ladder to get into a room.

My favorite aspect of the show was the computer games she’d have available. Remember, this was before people really had any such thing, so every game looked amazing. Probably how people marveled at that newfangled Facebooks all the kids are doing these days.

She also had that annoying younger brother, Ferguson, who was in love with Dan Quayle and was destined to grow up rich, connected and divorced by 42.

Fun fact: James Van Der Beek was a guest star.

Children of the 90s: Oh, I was a big Sam fan. He had that great 90s hair, where they shaved it underneath and let it go floppy on top. Swoon. I did like her sometimes-boyfriend, Clifford Spleenhurfer. He was a bully, but also a softie and totally whipped for Clarissa by the end of their relationship.

Ferguson loved Dan Quayle? I don’t remember that specifically, but it seems to fit right in with his general ambitious nerdiness. I stumbled upon a picture of what Ferguson looks like today and I couldn’t believe it. I just always think of him as the nerdy kid brother, and that picture is definitely a bona fide grown up (read:bald). Other fun fact: he’s now a theater director in Portland.

WildARSChase: And he also testified to Congress about the benefits of passing out free condoms. Neither here nor there. I’d just like to say that the world would all be better if everyone would break the fourth wall.


Double Dare



Children of the 90s: How awesome would it be if we could opt to defer difficult situations in our real lives by selecting a physical challenge? Just picture it: you’re at big meeting at work, all eyes in the boardroom on you, the boss puts you on the spot to defend your numbers, and you...choose instead to catapult a pie into your coworker’s pants. It just seems like a generally awesome alternative to dealing with the pressure of not knowing the correct answer.

You can’t talk about Double Dare without bringing up the ultimate irony of the show: host Marc Summers suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Now, I’m no psychology expert, but I imagine most treatments of the disorder--even the most head-on, encounter-therapy style ones--do not recommend auditioning to be the host of a show with the words “Super Sloppy” in the title. It just seems like common sense.

WildARSChase: I misread your last sentence as “Sloppy Seconds,” and thought, “That’s not good for anyone, let alone someone with OCD.”

Double Dare taught us all that when in doubt, you can get anywhere in life by accepting a challenge and filling a glass of milk glued to a helmet. To this day, when I hear, “On your mark, get set, GO” I start ferociously eating pies.

I always wondered if the dads on the show would get mad at their freeloading kids forcing them to go for the challenge rather than the better bet of answering a question and winning money to pay for the godforsaken trip to Orlando when all he wants to do is play some golf and drink some beer but no of course not he had to go on a game show and make a fool of himself in front of everyone and now he’s losing money to some bratty kids and ...

Children of the 90s: I hope that someday when I have a family of my own, we too can resolve problems by filling glasses of milk and mounting them on helmets. Heck, I don’t even care if we have a problem or not. I’m just going to make those helmets. They just seem like an awesome accessory to have on hand, assuming you like to drink over a tarp.

I too was pretty impressed by the parents on this show, they really gave it their all. I’m not sure I can imagine my family getting quite so behind a mission that involves sliding headfirst into the Gak geiser. On the plus side, though, I’m sure it made for some pretty awesome souvenir videos to drag out during a lull in the next family reunion: “Oh, and here’s where mom dove into the mashed potato vat to get the last orange flag! Rewind that so we can watch it in slow-mo, will you, Johnny?”

WildARSChase: I wish they would’ve shown some really dysfunctional families (more reality TV style) who would berate each other and screw each other over. That would’ve added a whole new dimension.

That's all we've got for you today, folks! Don't forget to stop by Andy's blog to see our Hey Dude post, too!

Selection of 80s and 90s Newberry Award Winning Books Part 1

Children of the 90s is looking for guest bloggers and collaborators! Have a burning desire to write about nostalgia? Have you seen a doctor to make sure it won’t just clear up on its own? Then you might be interested in writing for Children of the 90s! Contact us at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com to apply!

In so many areas in our lives, we look to the experts to tell us what is worth our attention and appreciation. The Oscars tell us which movies to see, the Emmys tell us which TV shows to watch, and the New York Times Bestseller List tells us which books to page through. Though far less prestigious, children’s and young adult books have their very own award system that shaped many of our young adult library experiences: the Newberry Medal.

Our school librarian always read to us from Newberry Award-winning children’s books, and with good reason. The Newberry Medal is awarded for excellence in children’s literature, showcasing the best young adult fiction of the year. After reviewing the list, I could remember almost all of the winners in fairly accurate detail. Even less voracious readers devoured these books with gusto, relishing the distinctly pre-teen themes and relatable writing.

Don’t blame me if this list makes you want to visit the young adult section at your local library--I’m heavily considering checking out Jacob Have I Loved and Number the Stars. Because most children of the 90s came of age over a span of a decade or so, I had to split this post into 80s and early 90s selections, with mid-90s selections sequestered to a second post. Now that we have all of the logistical details hammered out, let’s get down to brass tacks (don’t you think that sentence had a lot of hardware references for a post about books? Just saying.)

1981 Medal Winner: Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Paterson

If nothing else, this book made me wish my family worked in the crabbing and fishing business like main character Wheeze’s father Truitt. I imagine the romanticized version of crabbing as a livelihood I gleaned from reading Jacob Have I Loved as a child is far from the reality of the back-breaking and dangerous job (Deadliest Catch, anyone?) but I still always thought it sounded like fun.

The book’s title references the biblical sibling rivalry of Jacob and Esau, echoed by the book’s own familial tension between main character Sarah Louise (Wheeze) and her golden child sister, Caroline. Caroline marries Wheeze’s closest friend and mysterious fisherman Call. Before you get to wondering what exactly a mysterious male fisherman is doing befriending young girls on an isolated island, just agree to accept that historical young adult fiction is allowed to take license with pretty much anything in the name of being moderately educational.


1983 Medal Winner: Dicey's Song by Cynthia Voigt

The sequel to Voigt’s 1981 young adult novel Homecoming, Dicey’s song follows Dicey Tillerman and her siblings as they begin a new life with their Gram on her farm in rural Maryland. Their mother, now in a psychiatric hospital,abandoned her children by leaving them in a parking lot. Gram is a very closed and private person, and Dicey and her siblings have trouble adjusting to their new life. Spoiler alert: their mom dies. Sorry if I ruined the ending, but if you haven’t read this by now, your window of opportunity to do so has probably closed. If not, hey, you probably would have seen it coming anyway. These young adult fiction books aren’t known for their subtlety.


1984 Medal Winner: Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary

Ah, Beverly Cleary. You always knew how to charm your child readers with your realistic young characters. In Dear Mr. Henshaw, we meet Leigh Botts, a second grader who writes to author Mr. Henshaw as a part of a class assignment. Aside from not knowing that “Leigh” is actually a girl’s name, our main character also deals with life issues like his parents’ divorce and moving to a new town. The book satisfied our natural curiosity (read: nosiness) by allowing us a peek at someone else’s private letters and diary entries, while covertly teaching us valuable life lessons about accepting things for what they are.


1986 Medal Winner: Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan

We were all crazy for historical fiction in the 80s and 90s, wishing for nothing more than a book to transport us to a different time and place. In the case of Sarah, Plain and Tall, we ventured to the old West to follow the daily lives of the Witting family. Like any good children’s book, the story centers on the wholesome and moral world of--you guessed it--mail-order brides. Yes, that’s right, the ol’ hopeless romantic Jacob Witting writes away for a new wife based on an ad in the back of the paper. Somehow MacLachlan manages to weave it all into a heartwarming tale, which is nothing short of a testament to her quiet and simple storytelling style.


1987 Medal Winner: The Whipping Boy by Sid Fleischman

Fleischman’s title character is Jemmy, the young boy forced to bear the brutal whipping consequences for a royal heir’s unprincely actions. Every time the prince acts up, Jemmy must endure the brunt of the punishing whippings. Pretty awesome job, right? Luckily The Whipping Boy keeps it fun and madcap, sending Jemmy and Prince Brat (as he’s called in private) on a whirlwind adventure escape filled with colorful characters like Cutwater and Hold-Your-Nose Billy. For a somewhat dark premise, the book’s tone is light, tying it all together neatly with a solid moral message about treating people with equal respect.


1990 Medal Winner: Number the Stars by Lois Lowry

Lois Lowry knows how to weave a compelling story, creating believable young characters child readers can relate to. In Number the Stars, Lowry explores the story of friends Annemarie and Ellen growing up in Denmark during World War II. As the Nazi presence becomes a part of daily life in Denmark, Annemarie is worried about what will happen to her Jewish friend, Ellen. While the theme is certainly heavy for a children’s book, Lowry artfully shows how the Nazi occupation affected young people while depicting the good-heartedness of families who chose to help their neighbors.

Want to Write for Children of the 90s?

Do you have something hilarious and nostalgic to share with the world? Have an aching desire to reminisce about your childhood in a public forum for all the world to see? Feel like you just can't keep your all-consuming love of the 90s inside anymore? Well, you're in luck, because the Children of the 90s blog is seeking collaborators and guest bloggers! I know, I know, it's pretty exciting stuff. I'll pause for the inevitable celebratory fireworks displays and ticker tape parades.

When I started this blog, I had an endless cache of free time. Perhaps it would have been better if I'd been a member of Generation X--at least then maybe I'd have had the shame and humility to feel I can't do something so big on my own. As a child of the 90s, though, my self esteem has been so forcefully inflated by grown-ups telling me how wonderful every thing I did was as a child, it's significantly more difficult for me to ask for help.

With a busy work year and the prospect of crunch-time wedding planning looming large, I'd like to find some additional writers and collaborators help carry the blog and continue to open fresh ideas to new audiences. A select overachieving few of you have already contacted me through Twitter and Facebook, but I'm ready to open up the request to the full blog audience.

Think you may be interested? Here are the guidelines for applying:

1. Writers should preferably have a well-established blog with their own base of readers and a working knowledge of blogging. Well-established is a pretty wavy concept, of course, so if your blog is read by more people than yourself, I'll happily take a look at it. The idea is that you are both familiar with blogging and our blogs could mutually benefit from exposure to new readers and Twitter/Facebook users, so it's sort of a win-win(-win?) situation.
   
2. Briefly review Children of the 90s for topics that have been covered and pitch a few post ideas of your own.
3. Be able and willing to write 500-1000 word posts filled with pictures, videos, and other means of holding the fickle attention of blog readers (if you've read this far without a photo or video distraction and are still paying attention, congratulations. You may be ready to write for Children of the 90s!

Subject to approval and all that other fine print they say so quickly at the end of radio ads that so you can barely understand it before just you call and sign up for something without a working knowledge of the restrictions. Requesting a guest blogger position or pitching a topic does not guarantee a position, but if you're awesome, you have a pretty good chance. Also, this is obviously an unpaid position...it probably doesn't need to be said, but if you're expecting a cut of the few cents I make daily from my sidebar ads, you're probably out of luck.

I'm very excited about adding some new writers to the team, so I'm looking forward to hearing from you! Leave a comment with means of contacting you or contact me directly at childrenofthe90s@gmail.com.

The 90s Are All That Celebratory Recaps Continue--Please Welcome Part 2

Based on all the buzz on Facebook, Twitter, and in the news, TeenNick's new The 90s are All That is a major hit. We children of the 90s have braved the wee hours of the night (or, more likely, braved the complicated recording-settings on our DVR) in record ratings numbers to land these 15-year old shows in the top ten for their late-night timeslots. The block has started with Kenan and Kel, Clarissa Explains it All, All That, and Doug, but Nickelodeon has been heavily hinting that viewer response could add many more shows to the mix.

The hilarious Andy Shaw (@wildarschase) and I teamed up earlier this week to reminisce about some of our favorites here. We're back today to discuss three new shows. You can catch the full content on Andy's blog at http://andyshawcomedy.com but just in case you're so eager you can't wait the time it takes a new page to load, here's a little preview of what you can find there:

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

WildARSChase: The answer is yes, because of this show. Good God, was it creepy. There was always that magic shop they went to with the guy who I later thought was Hagrid from “Harry Potter”. It was genius of Nickelodeon to make a scary show for kids. There was nothing else like it on TV.

They had that whole “Midnight Society” thing going on, too. Very cult-ish. I always wondered what the hazing ritual was to get into that group. Did you have to wear the red bucket on your head? Did you have to tell a ghost story in Spanish? Was there an orgy (Wait, that’s the plot of “Vanilla Sky”)? I think more kids should get together in the woods and tell ghost stories. Of course, saying, “I think more kids should get together in the woods” doesn’t sound good these days.

Fun fact: One of the Midnight Society members grew up to be the very attractive and very charming Joanna Garcia.

Children of the 90s: I will be the first to admit I was absolutely terrified of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” I do, however, like a show so conversational that its very title is an opening to learn more about you and your most intimate fears and phobias. In my case, the answer to “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” was “Yes, absolutely. But especially that thing that was in the pool. That was pretty gross, and I’m probably only going to be able to sleep with a nightlight on until I’m about 22.*”

(*Age exaggerated for comedic effect. I’d say it actually was closer to 21.)

Hop on over and visit the post on Andy's blog for more 90s Nickelodeon goodness about Doug, Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Salute Your Shorts! We've had a lot of fun with this series and we'd love to put out a few more installments, but we need some reader input to help us decide what should come next. Check out the blog, send some comment love our way, or tweet us at @wildarschase and @childrenof90s to find out what we’re up to next.

To discuss an exciting 90s TV development with a very funny guest blogger

In honor of tonight’s very exciting TeenNick premiere of “The 90s Are All That” programming block, a fellow blogger and I thought it would be fun to combine forces to reminisce about some of the shows that will be rebroadcast after years in the Nickelodeon vault. For those of you who are unaware of the impending television greatness in our midst, behold, the glory of The 90s Are All that promo:



You should probably set your Tivo or DVR immediately so you can enjoy this amazing 90s Nick lineup at your leisure. Go ahead, we’ll wait. Done? Okay, great.

For readers who have not yet met the hilarious Andy, here’s your formal introduction:

Andy Shaw, known on Twitter as @WildARSChase, now runs andyshawcomedy.com, where he's combined forces Captain Planet-style to show his improv and stand up performances as well as his WildARSChase blog. He also wonders why Tori was ever on Saved By the Bell.

Now that we all know each other, I think we’re ready to begin. We could go on and on about our memories and the collective greatness of these shows, so we just picked a few of our favorites to start with. Be sure to stop back by Andy’s blog later this week for the next installment!

Legends of the Hidden Temple:



Children of the 90s take: Looking back, Legends of the Hidden Temple is a gold mine of highly transferable life lessons. For one, always wear a helmet and a mouthguard for all activities. I don’t care if you’re walking your dog or baking up a hearty batch of oatmeal cookies: you never know what kind of dangerous obstacles you could encounter that could potential damage your cranium or cause you to unsuspectingly swallow a molar. That’s just basic safety.

I also learned never to count my pendants before I’ve exited the temple gates. In life, it seems just when you think you’re about to run out of the temple scott free with the Walking Stick of Harriet Tubman, a terrifying and vaguely Mayan temple guard pops up and you’re back at square one. A figurative temple guard, of course. I think I’ve let this life lesson metaphor get away from me, but hopefully you’re still along for the ride. Bonus points if you’re wearing your helmet and mouthguard.

Legends of the Hidden Temple is also a classic example of how loosely we defined shows as “educational” in the 90s. By defining the stories as “legends,” the level of research integrity required by LotHT producers dropped significantly. I’m also a tad suspicious that Olmec was just a primer to prep us for subsequent years of gleaning our news from talking heads on TV. To be fair, though, many of those cable news pundits come off more stone-faced than Olmec.

WildARSChase take: Children, it all comes down to which team were you rooting for? A Silver Snake? A Blue Barracuda? Or were you cheering for a super slutty Red Jaguar?*
* Based on vague memories. Not scientific.

And might I add, Olmec was a douche. He was completely full of himself and very judgmental. I am quite sure host Kirk Fogg wanted to punch Olmec in his fat face.

Let me get to my biggest gripe, though: Why couldn’t those stupid kids assemble the Shrine of the Silver Monkey faster? My God, it was three pieces! And then they would waste so much time giving the temple guards the pendants. Drove me crazy. Kirk Fogg would scream at them. I’d scream at them. It was rough.

Children of the 90s: I was a Blue Barracuda girl all the way. I never quite understood how they came up with the color/creature combos for team names. Orange Iguanas? Red Jaguars? It just doesn’t add up.

I’m with you about Olmec. Can you imagine Kirk and Olmec’s off-screen relationship? I feel like there was some serious tension there when the cameras were off.

Speaking of the temple guards, it kind of makes me wonder who exactly was showing up for work everyday to dress up in the full Mayan garb. Were these guys Nickelodeon interns? Or real actors? I’m trying to picture some poor aspiring actor padding out his resume with “Temple Guard #3,” or if he was feeling especially creative, maybe he even gave it an authentic Mayan name like “Ixchel.”

WildARSChase: My guess is Olmec used to date Kirk’s girlfriend and was still calling her because he felt lonely stuck on the side of a temple. And Kirk couldn’t handle it and would sometimes rub it in Olmec’s face how hot his girlfriend is. I imagine the girl was Lori Loughlin from “Full House.”

The Mayan thing cracks me up because I’m sure it was so completely historically inaccurate (as you astutely point out, it was “legends.”) I am sure there’s an IMDB page out there with Temple Guard #3 out there. And I’m also quite sure Keanu Reeves would be the one to do it.

Children of the 90s: So I actually went to look that up on IMDB, to no avail. Too bad. I did find out the host Kirk Fogg had a bit part as a district attorney in the Veronica Mars pilot, though.

All That:



Children of the 90s take: All That understood the difference between adult comedy and children’s comedy. How do I know? Because at the time, I thought each sketch was more brilliant than the last, but as an adult I question my very sanity for laughing out loud at some of this stuff. “He’s Earboy! Earboy! His Ears are really big!” Really? That’s your tagline? At least no one could argue it would go over kids’ heads.

I was also a big fan of the Goodburger fast food sketches, foreign exchange student Ishboo, crazy write-in advice dispenser Dear Ashley, and of course Vital Information for your Everyday Life. I credit Vital Information with teaching me the value of non-sequitor humor and building me a strong base of sarcasm. I never could nail a deadpan delivery quite like Lori Beth Denberg, though. Not every line was a winner, but the concept was pretty clever for a kid’s show.

Best of all, If I didn’t think something was funny, it was also incredibly brief-there was usually a ten minute wait at most to enjoy Coolio or Boyz II Men or whichever other top-billed musical artist the show managed to pull for a performance.

WildARSChase take: I can still remember that theme song. Did you know TLC performed it? RIP, Lisa Left Eye Lopez.

That show created a ton of spinoffs: Kenan & Kel (everytime I see SNL and see Kenan Thompson, I think of the “Goodburger” movie), The Amanda Show and more. Amanda Bynes was clearly gunning to be the star of All That. I never liked her as much.

I also forgot that Nick Cannon was on that show, preparing for a life ahead with Mariah Carey.
The best thing about All That may have been the music guests. I loved how culturally diverse it was - I am sure it is one reason I’m into R&B and hip hop today. Aaliyah, Erykah Badu, Da Brat, Busta Rhymes … and they weren’t singing kid-friendly songs, either. Actually, I can’t believe half of them were on a kids’ show.

Children of the 90s: ARS, you’re bringing back way too many memories here, I’d completely forgotten about Nick Cannon being on All That. Remember the spinoff Nick Cannon show? Now I just think of him as the well-dressed hipster host of America’s Got Talent who’s whipped enough by Mariah Carey to allow his children to have names like Moroccan and Monroe.

Looking at that list of musical guests, it’s definitely a far cry from the Disney-ified music in kids’ entertainment today. I actually went to see Busta Rhymes a few weeks ago and I can vouch that it is definitely not kid-friendly. Maybe the show’s content advisers just assumed he rapped so fast parents wouldn’t catch all the drug references.

And of course, I loved the TLC theme song. CrazySexyCool was one of the first CDs I owned. I’m pretty sure I spent a whole year deeming things I liked not just as cool, but as crazysexycool.

WildARSChase: You went to see Busta Rhymes? You just got bonus points in my book. That’s gangsta. Aaliyah sang “One In a Million” on All That, a song clearly about sex. By the way, how come I keep referring to dead 90s singers?

I had CrazySexyCool on cassette. I remember listening to “Red Light Special” and knowing it was dirty but not quite sure why.

I wonder if a show like “All That” would make it today. Since I’m not a kid anymore, I’m not sure what all is out there, but I’d be worried that someone like Miley Cyrus would be on a new “All That.” And that would be a tragedy.

Children of the 90s: You just reminded me I should go listen to Red Light Special so I can figure out what the heck I was misunderstanding as a child. Be back soon.

GUTS:



Children of the 90s take: As a child, I was certain the the culmination of life success was determined by one’s ability to navigate the treacherous terrain of a color-coded craggy mountain plagued by frequent glitter storms. For many years, my life’s major ambition was to someday own a piece of the famed aggro-crag. I certainly wasn’t athletic enough to ever make it as a contestant in the Extreme Arena, but that hasn’t stopped me from searching periodically for souvenir aggro crag trophies on eBay.

One of the best parts of the show was the little “Spill Your Guts” human interest segment. I spent hours brainstorming what my GUTS nickname might be. Did I exhibit the shiftiness and stealth of “The Jackal” or did I boast more of the grace and quick-footedness of “The Jaguar”? Plus, these kids knew how to celebrate their athletic achievements: I still think the best way to celebrate a milestone is to drape yourself proudly in your country’s flag and take a victory lap.

WildARSChase take: Mike O’Malley was introduced to me through GUTS, a show so awesome it demands a caps lock. DEMANDS IT. Who’s Mike O’Malley, you say? I’m guessing you don’t know him through his seminal work on “Yes, Dear,” which lives on in TBS infamy. I bet you know him as Kurt’s dad on “Glee.” Yep, that guy.

He was the host, always pushing kids to the limit and keeping sexual tension with Mo Quirk, the (female) referee. Mo went on to do great things, such as “My Life As a Teenage Robot” and an “additional voice” credit on Microsoft Flight Simulator X.

GUTS was all about the Agrocrag, wasn’t it? The Agrocrag makes Mount Doom in “Lord of the Rings” look like a sandcastle. It separated the men from the boys, the women from the girls and the destined to be a pro athlete from the destined to be an accountant.

Looking back, that show was great because it promoted physical activity and being adventurous. It’s the exact opposite of another old Nick show that evidently won’t be re-broadcast, Nick Arcade … clearly, that show doesn’t stand the test of time because the graphics would look horrendous.

Children of the 90s: I’ll admit I actually had a huge crush on Mike O’Malley in his GUTS days. What can I say, I like a guy in a hockey jersey. I was definitely not a Yes, Dear fan, but I do like him on Glee when I remember to watch it. I suppose if he has to be getting old and bald, at least he can be accepting of his gay son.

That kind of makes me sad about Mo, because I always admired her intensity and how serious she took this announcer gig that must have been, at best, her third choice show biz job. My fiance and I actually went one year for Halloween as Mo and a Guts Contestant...I’d highly recommend it if you’re ever in a market for a 90s costume idea.

I’m also all for the physical activity aspect, but I actually loved Nick Arcade. Didn’t you think it seemed cool at the time? Obviously the technology seems pretty crappy now, but back then I was amazed those kids were in the video games. All hail bluescreen technology.

WildARSChase: Mo and a GUTS contestant? You’re racking up bonus points left and right. I think you also were Mike O’Malley’s only groupie, so that’s minus points.

GUTS really did have an international flair. I almost had forgotten how they flew the country flag. Of course, then you also found yourself rooting for America, which seems a bit xenophobic in hindsight. Screw you, other countries! This here is America, and our kids are the best!

Nick Arcade did seem awesome at the time. I couldn’t believe how it was done. Actually, if they did a new version of that it would be amazing, wouldn’t it?

Children of the 90s: I’m not ashamed, I was totally a Mike O’Malley groupie. Try watching the video above and telling me he didn’t used to be pretty good-looking in his relative youth.

I would totally go for a new Nick Arcade. Are you out there, Nickelodeon executives? I’d watch that. Whip that up, please, with some new technology. And maybe they can make into Global Nick Arcade, just so I can continue to feel good about rooting for my American compatriots.

WildARSChase: Come over to AndyShawComedy.com on Friday for the next installment of our recap of Nickelodeon shows of yesteryear. What shows will we do next? You'll have to visit to find out! Follow us on Twitter to find out when our series is updated! @wildarschase and @childrenof90s

Children of the 90s: (Insert additional self-promotion links here)