Memorable 90s Oscar Moments

In honor of this weekend's forthcoming premier awards show, I thought we might pay some homage to memorable Oscar moments of 90s past. Feel free to wax poetic on your personal favorite Oscar incidences in the comments section. We've got a lot of ground to cover here, so let's jump right in:



Angelina Jolie Kisses her Brother



Yes, yes, I know this happened in 2000, but bear with me here. It was one of those moments that was so utterly appalling we just can't get it out of our minds, even 10 years down the road. Angelina's certainly come a long way from her bad goth-girl Girl, Interrupted days. In her current do-gooder philanthropist/ambassador state, she's almost unrecognizable as that chick who once made out with her brother at the year's biggest award show. Well, unless you watch the above video to remind you.



Billy Crystal Montages


Oscar Intro 1997 Billy Crystal
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Who doesn't love a good cheesy introductory Oscar montage? As a kid, I thought these things were pretty hilarious, and I'm only partially embarrassed to admit I still find it pretty funny. At the time, it was a cutesy but entertaining idea: Billy Crystal inserts himself into various pieces of the Best Picture nominee films. We even get a crazy "UMA, OPRAH, OPRAH, UMA" cameo from Dave Letterman, but more on that later. All in all, not a bad intro. I've seen worse, believe me.



Christopher Reeve's 1996 Appearance


We give out a lot of standing ovations, but here's an example of an undeniably well-deserved one; it truly was an inspirational moment. Reeve urged Hollywood to further tackle difficult social issues and use their media as a means of exploring exploring them. They managed to keep his appearance a surprise up until the final moment, and his words moved many audience members to tears. All in all, a truly heartwarming moment.



James Cameron's "I'm the King of the World!" Speech



Cameron was clearly over the moon upon receiving his Best Director Academy Award, feeling the only reaction was to whoop and holler and quote a corny line from his wildly popular movie. Some people thought it to be overly boastful, but it seems more likely that he was just really, really excited. Whatever the reason, the clip was rebroadcast innumerable times; there's a reason we still remember it today. Who knows what he'll yelp if he takes one home for Avatar. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll just show up in a seven-foot tall blue costume, but there's only so much we can hope for.



Gwenyth Paltrow's Tearful Best Actress Speech



Paltrow took home an Oscar in 1998 for her work in Shakespeare in Love. Her work in the movie was certainly commendable, but her performance at the Oscars probably takes the cake. I'm not doubting that her tears were sincere, but good Lord were there a lot of them. Paltrow sobbed throughout her entire speech. Everyone seemed a little unsure of how to react to her ceaseless river of tears, but she eventually managed to wrap it up. I imagine they needed to do some serious stage mopping during that next commercial break.



Tom Hanks Accidentally Outs His Closeted Gay Teacher


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Tom Hanks was great in Philadelphia and his acceptance speech was certainly gracious. In a well-intentioned move, he thanked his high school drama teacher Mr. Farnsworth and one of his classmates, lauding them as great gay Americans. It was a kind move, but unbeknownst to Hanks, he inadvertently outed his still-closeted teacher. The story actually inspired the movie In & Out, but I can imagine Hanks felt more than a little apologetic about the very public snafu.



Uma, Oprah, Oprah, Uma



Speaking of awkward moments, this one definitely belongs toward the top of the list. Host David Letterman pulled out this bit in 1995, leading to years of speculation of some sort of feud with reigning talk show queen Oprah. Watching the clip, it seems the joke is about their unusual names, as Dave asks, "Have you met Keanu?" Still, it was not a super comfortable moment for anyone involved, including the audience.



Cuba Gooding Jr Wins Best Supporting Actor


Cuba Gooding Jr. Oscar Acceptance Speech
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It was tough not to be happy for this guy. He seemed so genuine, so likable in his role in Jerry Maguire that we just couldn't help but root for him. Gooding managed to come across the same way in his speech, though it did get a bit over the top with him yelling over the producers desperately trying to play him out with the requisite "get-off-the-stage" music. It was obviously a high point for him, though. Any of us who ever saw Boat Trip can definitely attest to this.



Michael Jackson Shows Up with Madonna



First of all, how awesome do Mary Hart and Pat O'Brien look in this clip? So 1991. At the time, the public was abuzz about Michael Jackson and Madonna's Oscar "date". It seemed more like a well-orchestrated publicity move; the two were both incredibly famous and were working on a duet together, so it may have seemed like a logical step. Madonna ditched Michael at the Spago after-party, though, to engage in some heavy petting with Warren Beatty. Ick. I didn't even make that up...that's exactly how People magazine described it.



Jack Palance Does Push-Ups


You know what? If I can do one-armed push-ups at age 73, you'd better bet I'd pull out that age-defying party trick in the most public arena available. Jack Palance accepted his Best Supporting Actor award with a series of one-handed pushups, leading Crystal to joke later in the broadcast that Palance had just bungee jumped off the Hollywood sign. After seeing his impressive show of athleticism, I wouldn't doubt it.



Matt and Ben win for Best Original Screenplay



How can you not find these guys just a little endearing? Their friendship and teamwork, their youth and enthusiasm, it was all more than enough to make us want to root for their inevitable Hollywood success. Plus, they gave Cuba Gooding Jr. a little shout-out for "showing [them] how to give an acceptance speech." Aww.



Marisa Tomei Wins for Best Actress


(My bad--I couldn't find an embeddable clip of her accepting the Oscar. Just enjoy the clip of her in the movie, instead. She's adorable.)

Talk about an underdog story. No one ever expected Tomei to actually win the award for which she had been nominated. Her performance as the sassy, brassy Italian girlfriend in My Cousin Vinny was undoubtedly commendable, but she was up against a group of far more experienced actresses in more serious roles. Tomei's win came as such a shock that it led to a series of speculation that presenter Jack Palance had actually read the wrong name and issued the award to her by mistake. Snopes declares this to be a myth; the Academy was allowed a sense of humor now and then.



We can't foresee what great and memorable moments will unfold at this year's ceremony, but there's always something. Who knows? It may even be as shocking as Tomei's Best Actress coup or as endlessly sobstruck as Paltrow's teary acceptance. We can only dream.

A Blogaversary Treat: Children of the 90s Favorite Analytics Search Terms

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Thankfully, I am the almighty arbiter in ascertaining what exactly constitutes a treat--whether you like it or not. The real question on my mind is, how do all of you get here? I didn't issue any personal handwritten invitations (at least not lately, you see, my calligraphy ink well has run dry), so many of you travel here through the magic of Google. I get about 400 daily visitors who stop by here via Google search, and through the magic of Google Analytics tracking data, I've learned a great deal about what exactly brings people here.

In honor of the blogaversary I totally forgot about yesterday, I thought I'd share with you just a few of the many, many hilarious search terms I've seen in the past few weeks. Apparently the answer to how some of you got here involves some truly bizarre Googling. Don't worry, though, I'm not here to judge. Actually, that was a boldfaced lie. My major purpose is to judge. All in good fun, and all that, but some of these just can't go unsnarked. It would be a disservice to the public to let them go without a brief mocking. Please enjoy the following output of total and utter ridiculousness. All in the spirit of the blogaversary celebration, obviously.



compare contrast essay 90's tv show mash and fresh prince of bell air
Geez, you Googlers sure are philosophical. Whenever I spot a search term like this, I've got to wonder about the motivation behind it. Sheer curiosity? Bizarre academic assignment? Either way, it's sort of an odd pairing.


warner brothers stinky and the brain
You may need a little remedial nostalgia work. Last time I checked, no one named "Stinky" ever plotted to take over the world. I could be wrong.


is 2010 going to be like the 90's
You've got to love these type of questions. I feel like the internet is both a blessing and a curse; it's given us constantly at-our-fingertips access to all sorts of pertinent information, but we can't rely on it for everything. Just ask anyone who's ever cited Wikipedia as a source for a paper. This isn't a crystal ball here, people. What are you expecting? Results found: 1. 1st result: Yes. Happy?


what is self concept of britney spears
I'm not sure, why don't you ask her? Much as I'd like it, my blog has not yet advanced to the stage of setting up shop in celebrities' minds. Ms. Spears has yet to approach me with hopes of sharing her innermost desires and ideals.


children of the nineties official website
Ah, music to my ears. Well, eyes. Whatever the equivalent of eye music is. You know, like visual art. Anyway, these people think I'm official. Not too shabby.


is lisa frank dead?
No?

mr and mrs romero are having triplets. suppose the chance of each child being a boy is 50% and of being a girl is 50%. find each probability.
I spy a cheater. I only wish we'd had the internet and could solve simple word problems by the process of Googlage. What this person thought he'd find at Children of the 90s is beyond me, but I hope he got it figured out eventually.


90s catch phrases no _________ for you
Soup! Soup! It's soup. What do I win?


swallowed a whole role of bubble tape
SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION. Or possibly psychiatric care. Decide quickly, please. Time is likely of the essence.

why did crystal pepsi failed?
I'm not sure, but I think the executives disbanded to address the more pressing issue of widespread grammar abuse.


a children's book about a skunk who makes bread from the 1980s
Why anyone would want to make bread from the 1980s is beyond me. It seems much fresher to bake more up-to-date bread. Then again, if you're a skunk freshness may not be your highest priority. Ah, the wonders of misplaced modifiers.


did carmen san diego ever existed?
I think this one must refer to Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego? How else would you explain all the jumbled tenses?

poop french toast crunch scandal
WHAT??? I've eaten that cereal. For the life of me, I hope this is some type of misinformed urban legend.

cabbage patch kids coming to life and strangling owner
Again...I'm at a loss.

who's that actor whos blond and always plays a douche from the 90s
At least you're getting straight to the point. I suppose Google could care less about your tact.


encino man drinking games
Ooh, if you know any, please share. That sounds awesome. I'd be willing to take a shot every time Pauly Shore referred to "chillage". It would probably enhance the movie watching experience considerably.


how to make a slip and slide on cement
Really? What part of this seems like a viably injury-proof idea. I hope you all wore helmets.



good things about cheese handisnacks
Finding an answer in this case will probably take some pretty serious searching. Especially if you're referring to the nutritional value.



is mrs doubtfire based on a true story?
I probably shouldn't even dignify this with a response. Who saw that movie and left the theater believing it was a ripped from the headlines story? I'm actually a bit concerned.


video of cats vomitting whoomp
HOW did this bring you here? Please explain. 300 words or fewer. Due Friday.


gigapet depression
Do any of you know? Is this an actual phenomenon? I'm tempted to say yes, just because those things are so damn time-consuming and needy. Mine probably suffered from separation anxiety. Thank goodness I dropped it behind a bookshelf and it eventually starved to death.


are those michael jackson's biological children in space jam?
There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to start.


how to remove gak from hair
What exactly were you doing? I'm actually sort of curious. I'd say peanut butter, but you can't quote me on that.


write an introduction on the topic saved by the bell
No. I do what I want.


Remember when aol had all the chatrooms?
Yes.


What do blue m&ms mean?
Oh, so now each of our candy color varieties needs a backstory? What kind of an answer are you seeking, exactly? Some sort of fortune telling-esque omen? They come from the factory like the rest of the colors. That's pretty much all there is to it.


khaki wishes and cookie dreams definition/meaning
I've gotten an inordinate amount of searches like this one. What do you mean what does it mean? It's just a Robin Leach cameo line from Troop Beverly Hills. It doesn't mean anything. I wouldn't overanalyze that movie.


at what part of the song do you start doing the macarena?
I love imagining the kind of person who's too self-conscious to just go with it. They've got to search the internet for answers to their outmoded potential dancing faux pas. It's sort of endearing, if not completely embarrassing.


10 things i hate about you is the one of 90s movie teeny bopper i actually enjoyed
I appreciate your willingness to share.


what's that little redheaded brat in that one 90s movie?
Oh right...her.


lisa frank backpacks children
She DOES? We should stage a boycott.


how to make an aggro crag replica
Let me know if you figure this one out. It sounds awesome. I'll totally come race you on it through the glitter dust snow. Only if I can be purple, though.


how come after i eat warheads my tongue is weird
Just a guess, but that highly artificial tastebud-burning chemical might play a role. I can't say for sure..


90s show that kids traveled into the internet through power lines to battle evil
Was this a real thing? I'd love to watch it.


aren't pushpops also good?
Yes.


use the expression you go girl in a sentence
You just did. Well, almost.


sometimes i tape my thumbs together and pretend I'm a dinosaur
I actually had to look into this one, it's just so ridiculous. I found out it's a variation on a weird Google search autocomplete. Still. Weird. And how exactly did it bring this person here? Some mysterious are probably better left unsolved.


how do i become the next lisa frank
This. Is. Awesome. I really hope someone out there had an answer for you, kid. I'd say a legal name change might put you on the right track, although I can't guarantee you'll be the next. Someone might beat you to it. You better run, not walk, to file that court order.



Well, 90s children, that's about all the fun-poking I've got for you today. Join us again next time for your regularly scheduled installment of Children of the 90s. Oh, and if any of you were the mysterious Googlers in question, 'fess up. I've got so many things I need to ask you...

90s TV Switcheroos: Characters Played by More than One Actor

Oh my gosh, as I was posting this it suddenly hit me--today is my blogaversary! That's right, one year ago today Children of the 90s was born. That's a whole lotta 90s. Lucky for all of you, I won't go the way of this post and suddenly replace myself with a cheap imitation, less credible 90s chronicler...looks like you're stuck with me. Thanks for reading! :)


How many Beckys does it take to complete a series of Roseanne? The answer may surprise you

It's the old Darrin Stevens switcharoo. For one reason or another, the original TV actor exits stage left and is immediately replaced by the next available understudy standing in the wings. Unlike at the theater, though, where they give you the benefit of announcing the replacement, on TV they tend to just proceed with business as usual as if nothing had happened. Never mind the fact that one of our major players was one person one day and someone else the next. All of the other actors simply treat the replacement as if they were the old standard and we're supposed to be immediately convinced that this new actor embodies the character we once knew and loved as another person.

Sometimes there's some brief wink-wink nudge-nudge type of acknowledgment, but for the most part they leave us to fend for ourselves in digesting the adjustment. Imagine if someone in your inner circle of friends came to dinner one night, only it was another person entirely. All of your other friends continue to call the newcomer by the first friend's name and reminisce with him as if he were there all along. The way they're acting, it's enough to make the rest of us have to wonder if we're the crazy ones for not going along with this charade.

The tactic happens more than you might think; sometimes you don't even notice it until you're watching the show in syndication many years later. Whether it's a minor character or a principal player, it definitely requires more than your average level of TV-grade suspension of disbelief. The following are among the most grievous offenders:


Fresh Prince: Vivian Banks


Here is an instance of the most blatant kind of switcheroo: one that occurs with a character who appears in virtually every episode of the series. Vivian (Will's aunt) was initially played by Janet Hubert-Whitten, but she found herself in breach of series contract when she became pregnant. While they wrote the pregnancy into Vivian Banks's storyline, Hubert-Whitten left soon thereafter to stay home with her child. She was replaced by Daphne Maxwell Reid, which might have been fine had the producers possessed the common sense to maintain linearity with the character.

Instead, the new Vivian was starkly different than the original. While Hubert-Whitten's Vivian was career-driven and outspoken, Reid's was a more soft-spoken homemaker. The writers gave a couple of on-screen tongue-in-cheek acknowledgments of the switch ("You know, Mrs. Banks, ever since you had that baby, there's something different about you...") but for the most part the change went unmentioned.



Boy Meets World: Morgan Matthews


The first Morgan Matthews was cute-relief kid sister played by Lily Nicksay. After regular appearances in the first and second seasons, she never appears in the third season, only to reappear in the fourth season played by Lindsay Ridgeway. She was still blonde, but the similarities pretty much ended there. They sought to ease the transition by having her joke, "That was the longest time-out I've ever had!" I guess that time-out made her pretty bitter, because Morgan emerged several times more sarcastic then she had been in the second season.



Friends: Ross's Ex-Wife Carol


Anita Barone was the original Carol, though she appeared in just one episode. All installments of the Ross/Carol saga thereafter played out with Jane Sibbett. Because Barone only appeared in one episode, this switcheroo was able to slip by far more quietly than some of the more blatant offenders.



Roseanne: Becky Connor-Healy


Here's an interesting bait-and-switch tactic: bring in one actress for a fair number of seasons, replace her with a new actor, bring her back, and then finish the series out with the second actress. Talk about confusing. Alicia Goranson was the original Becky, playing Roseanne and Dan's oldest child for the first five seasons. She left to attend college, so the writers started phasing her out in the fifth season based on her decision.

The story, of course, doesn't end there. For some reasons, the writers find it necessary to revive Becky as a series regular, bringing in Sarah Chalke for Becky reinforcement purposes. It's a passable though certainly not entirely excusable switch until Goranson decided she should come back to the show for the eighth season, which she believed would be the final installment. Goranson was not able to fully commit to the role and during the eighth season and she Chalke alternated in the part, leaving the writers grasping at straws writing awkward in-jokes for the obvious switch back and forth. In the ninth and final season, Chalke again took full command of the role and the switch was finally left unmentioned by the cast.



Seinfeld: Frank Costanza, Morty Seinfeld


At least these producers seemed vaguely conscious of the switch: they actually re-filmed some of the Frank Costanza scenes with Jerry Stiller for the syndicated reruns to replace the old shots of John Randolph. At least they're covering their tracks on that one.

The Morty Seinfeld flip-flop was handled differently, as by the time of the switch so many seasons had gone by that Barney Martin was too old to believably fill the role originally cast with Phil Bruns. In the greater context of the Seinfeld universe though, this type of thing was more acceptable. The focus on the minutiae of life left a pretty general disregard for the broader picture, so it wasn't quite the earth-shattering switch we saw in some of the other shows.



Ghostwriter: Gaby



Gaby Fernandez is Alex's little sister, a character whose traits are largely based on the stereotypical kid sister persona. Unfortunately for original Gaby Mayteana Morales, her onset of puberty quickly made her an unlikely fill-in for the tag-along kid sister. The scripts were adapted to portray Gaby as a more mature character, but she was replaced in the midst of the third season by a younger-looking Melissa Gonzalez. The writers clearly breathed a collective sigh of relief that they didn't have to send Gaby out on dates and give her serious adult aspirations, and the new Gaby reverted to the original character mold.


Clueless: Cher Horowitz (TV vs. film)


This one's a little different, as one actress (Alicia Silverstone) portrayed Cher in the film Clueless while another (Rachel Blanchard) took on the role for the eponymous TV series based on the movie. Blanchard wasn't the only newcomer--we also had TV fill-in replacements for the roles of Cher's father and for the character of Josh (Paul Rudd in the film).

All switcheroos considered, perhaps the most offensive were the plot and character changes that ensued in the shift from movie to television adaptation. Plus, everyone's outfits were significantly less cool in the series. Then again, the budget (especially during the UPN years) was probably to blame on that front.



The Golden Girls: Everybody

These ladies are lucky they're hilarious...otherwise all of the discrepancies would be wholly unforgivable

Had any newbie GG writers ever even seen an episode of the Golden Girls? I'm tempted to venture "no" based on the incredibly blatant inconsistencies in the storylines. The biggest offenders were usually the Girls' respective children, who were not only played by different actors but also frequently were suddenly different ages and had totally different physical traits (see: Michael Zbornak, age 29 vs. 23, or Rebecca Devereux fat and then suddenly inexplicably thin).

The other great Goldren Girls' mystery was why they had the same actor play two different roles, sometimes within the same season. Clearly the writers' and casting agents' faith in the viewership was pretty low, meaning that Harold Gould played two of Rose's boyfriends and Paul Dooley played Rose's blind date Isaac Newton and the doctor next door in the Empty Nest set-up...in the same season.


Whatever the reasoning, mid-series replacements generally left us with an uneasy feeling. We trusted these people; we considered them our friends and invited them into our lives in half-hour weekly installments. There was some sense of betrayal when the show we'd so trusted pulled the ol' Darrin Stevens on us and replaced one of its actors with a newcomer. Luckily, we were all pretty adaptable in our budding couch-potato state. In some cases, we forgot there was ever another actor in the first place. So long as they kept us entertained, we'd keep eating up whatever it was they were feeding us: believable or not