Children of the Nineties One-Hit Wonder Mash-Up : 1992

There's no clear set path for how a musical group achieves success and fame. Some are discovered after year of hard work and dedication. Others utilize connection in the music industry to claw their way to the the top.

And sometimes, it's probably just a fluke.

These are some of those flukes.

A one-hit-wonder is an interesting phenomenon. One would expect that if an act once had the power to captivate listeners worldwide, musical lightning would likely strike twice. Once in a while, however, a song comes along that is truly an anomaly. The music and lyrics are in no way exceptional and the band is not particularly talented. It's almost as if these songs manage to fly under the radar completely, sneak quietly onto our Billboard charts when the quality-control guards are dozing, and explode in a maelstrom of misguided publicity and incessant radio play.

1992 was uncommonly notorious on this front. Allow me to be your guide on this lovely tour of one-hit-wonderdom circa 1992:

Right Said Fred: I'm Too Sexy

The song was released in 1991, but was most likely working up the nerve to ask permission for popularity.



That video is pure grade-A 90s ridiculousness. The bikini-clad photographers, the mesh tank tops, the leather studded man jewelry. It's almost too much to bear.

The premise of the song was relatively simple. Imagine yourself a stunning, reflection-worshiping early 90s-era supermodel. You find yourself to be particularly appealing to potential mates, with innumerable positive physical qualities. In fact, in some cases, overly so. Your sexiness has actually surpassed the legal limit and is now rendering you incapacitated on many fronts. While once you were able to participate in normal everyday activities like wearing hats and owning pets, you are now actually too sexy to participate in these activities. Suddenly, diagnosed with this bout of hypersexiness, you are altogether too sexy for:

• Your shirt; this one seems fairly self-explanatory, as your muscular pecs can not be contained by fabric alone. It's likely that excessive body oil also plays a role in this.
• Your party; right, it must get a tad exhausting to brave the adoring crowds in a contained space.
• Your cat; this is a little trickier. As a cat, we can only assume that he or she (let's say he) is not sexually attracted to you. Maybe you just want to ditch the furry feline for something that won't lead others to so readily question your masculinity. Because that mesh tank top isn't dropping any heavy hints.
  
• Your car; let's be real here. The reflection in your rear view mirror is too riskily distracting.
  
• Your hat; I assume when you do your little turn on the catwalk, on the catwalk, do your little turn on the catwalk that you would risk disrupting your head wear.
• Japan, Milan, and New York; too many commoners.
  
• Your love; I'll give it to you, Right Said Fred, this one just makes no sense.
  
• This song; aren't we all?

Sir Mix-a-lot: Baby Got Back

Some songs we love for their subtlety and nuance. This was not one of them.

Sir mix a lot-baby got back
Uploaded by ZICARLOS

Becky's friend is spot-on in this case. That chick does look like one of those rap guy's girlfriends. While no one likes to admit it, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who grew up in the 90s who can not sing this song in its entirety by memory. It's undeniably catchy, but the subject matter is a tad questionable. I have vivid memories of this being played at bar mitzvah parties, which in retrospect seemed to toe the line of inappropriateness. I can only imagine what the bar mitzvah boy's Uncle Moishe thought of this one.

You have to love Sir-Mix-a-Lot's stance and gestures in this video. First of all, as he himself conceded, his unfortunate placement on that giant butt leads to some unsavory comparisons. Throughout the video, though, he looks especially authoritative in a way oddly inconsistent with the video's subject matter. A sort of butt dictator, if you will. At the very least, a butt ambassador.

The imagery in this video is really something else. This is possibly the least-sexy depiction they could have come up with. They're certainly pushing it on the butt-cleavage-esque fruit and vegetable visuals. Do we really need to bring tomatoes and peaches into the picture here?

An adapted version of this song featuring Six Mix-a-Lot himself is currently being featured in a Burger King television campaign. It just goes to show you that even with royalties resulting from constant radio play over 20 years, a one-hit-wonder isn't enough to hold you afloat to a point where you can deny any sell-out friendly source of income.

Speaking of float, if you haven't already, I implore you to check out the Bill Nye parody by "Sure Floats-a-Lot". You might just learn a little something about buoyancy.


Billy Ray Cyrus: Achy Breaky Heart

Once upon a time, Billy Ray was known as more than just Hannah Montana's dad. He had an achy, breaky heart, dammit, and he was eager to share his sordid tale with us in a line dancing-friendly format.


Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart


That is certainly some business in the front, party in the back ol' Billy Ray has going on there. It could potentially be deemed cheating (though which governing board holds this jurisdiction, we can never be sure) to call this a one-hit wonder as it had actually been written and recorded a year earlier by the lesser-known Marcy Brothers. Released on Billy Ray's album alongside other charming titles as "I'm So Miserable" and "Wher'm I Gonna Live?" (yes, "wher'm") it's not surprising this is the one that fought its way to the top of this wrangled junk heap. Just think, if you can manage to record a hit country song, someday you could play a not-so-glorified version of your washed-up self on a show starring your daughter and have a shot at scoring an E-list celebrity spot on Dancing with the Stars. Reach for the stars, kids.

Of course, the version I was more familiar with was this one:






House of Pain: Jump Around
Everlast, DJ Lethal, and Danny Boy. They sound like a wholesome bunch, eh?

House of Pain - Jump Around
Uploaded by crunk_ship

It's almost difficult to remember this song in the context of its original release because it has become so ubiquitous in movies, TV, ads, and most notably sporting events. The horn intro becomes so deeply embedded in your brain that you can actually hear little residual horn blasts for the next few days after listening to the song. This little ditty features beautiful lyrics like "Muggs is a funk fest/someone's talking junk/ Yo, I'll bust em in the eye/And then I'll take the punks home". I don't know what this means, but it's certainly poetic. If nothing else, the song references Sega, which is certainly enough to win me over.


Wreckx-N-Effect: Rump Shaker

Oh, well, that's a charming way to spell "wrecks". I like all those extra letters you added. Very colorful. And this must be your friend, Effect. Good to meet you both.



Possibly the best part of this one-hit wonder was not in the song itself, but in its fierce Billboard chart competition. Rump Shaker never made it to number one because Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" from The Bodyguard kept slamming it back a spot. I'm guessing lyrics like "all I wanna do is zooma-zoom-zoom-zoom in a boom-boom/shake your rump" weren't quite a well-suited match for Miss Houston's pre-crack-is-whack vocal glory.

The dance moves and wardrobe in this video are to die for. Where's Waldo-esque candy-striped crew neck t-shirt? Check! Arm extension Tae-bo style lifts? Check! Full-bodied pastel windbreaker? Check! The video oozes 90s cheesy hip-hop greatness. The best part is, this song was deemed vulgar and inappropriate by all sorts of moral watchdog groups. If you are unaware, zooma-zoom-zooming in a boom-boom is a bit more technical than they make it sound. While obviously tame compared to today's rap releases, it was controversial nonetheless. On the other hand, they are sporting life jackets in that boat montage, so their messages to kids must not be all bad. Hey, I listened to it and I turned out okay. In a manner of speaking,that is.



1992 was certainly an eclectic year for short-lived music sensations, but each of these briefly popular tunes are admittedly catchy in their own way. Actually, good luck getting through the rest of your day without humming one of these babies to the utter horror of your co-workers, spouses, or roommates. I'm going to put my money on Achy Breaky Heart, but you will have to get back to me on this one.